Author’s Note: It has been along time since I posted another chapter. The chapter was almost finished when I left the story for a while. I had several other projects going on at the same time. I designed and stitched a new counted cross-stitch project and in between made two “ABC Quilts” for a church project. This chapter is very long. I wanted to give you a good chapter because it maybe late in the summer before I get back to FWFS. I have a major writing project to finish for my family that will be published.
It was nice to have Danny get caught with his pants down. LOL I didn’t think about the lock on the door but that goes to show that it must be there in my subconscious thoughts. This chapter deals with a loss that I didn’t include in TMC. Reminder that I have the previous chapters archived at my own site and you may find them there. Thanks for your comments and e-mails that I have gotten from the lurkers. I continue to be shocked at the acceptance of TMC.
Fair Winds and Following Seas by Phyllis Chapter 7
Michelle stood in the darkness outside of the villa on the balcony. The white cashmere sweater shielded the night chill of the ocean breeze. Pulling the long sleeves down on her arms to cover the chill bumps, Michelle gasped at the brilliant light streaking through the southern sky. The thought of where the shooting star eventually landed briefly occupied her mind. Michelle smiled at the simpler things of life, like enjoying a night sky. The heavens above kept their mysteries of where the particles from outer space landed on earth or danced across the sky to burn out in infinity. Danny had been her faithful instructor of learning the art of watching a night sky.
The quiet time at night that they shared was often spent in her resting in his arms leaning back to see the changing night sky. It became their time that they discussed what was going on at home and in the outside world that affected their home life.
Michelle broke off the saltine cracker in her mouth, which was followed with a sip of ice-cold ginger ale. The old stable ally helped with the late afternoon nausea. Between the sounds of the wafer being chewed in her mouth, Michelle listened to the waves breaking on the nearby rocks below the steep cliff. Wiping the moisture from her hands on the black Capri pants that she wore, she battled her nerves. The courage to pretend had abandoned her once again when she heard Danny’s voice inside the villa speaking to Carmen on the phone.
“They are going to be natural born sailors. It must be their pirate blood.” Danny listened to Carmen while watching Michelle standing alone on the balcony. “Mama, you either love the ocean or you hate it. They wanted to spend the night on the sailboat but we hadn’t made the preparations to do that. Michelle wants to be back on land with Gabby and Bethany Joy before the sun goes down…..Yes, it is a mother thing….Mama, I have to go, but I will be in Springfield on Wednesday and you will have Gabby and Bethany Joy all day while I am at the office.”
Snapping the cell phone shut, Danny stood inside the screen with both hands on his hips. Attentive to his wife staring out in the expanse of the darkness, Danny reflected on the quietness that had slowly increased since they had anchored the sailboat in the protective cove.
The screen door opened allowing Danny to walk out to the balcony. “Hey, your mind seems to be a thousand miles away tonight.”
“You noticed.”
“Yes and you seem more distant tonight.”
“Danny, I miss having Carmen and Abuella here with us in San Juan. They are an important part of Gabby and BJ?s lives. It seems unusual to not having them here watching us.”
“Hum, is this a new attitude change that I am hearing?” With his arms enveloped around Michelle’s upper body, “What can you see out there in the darkness?”
“I can’t see anything but the night sky and hear the soothing sounds of the ocean.”
“I was thinking about our baby.”
Danny’s arms tightened on Michelle’s waist in an effort to protect her from the pain of the loss. “The miscarriage again.”
“Danny, I hate the word-Miscarriage. It was the baby that I wanted. I was so happy to be pregnant.”
“Honey, I know that you wanted the baby, but your body discarded the fetus to correct the malformation of the cells.”
“Danny, you can stop the normal medical spin. Remember, I saw the tiny baby in the specimen jar and the baby looked normal to me. I had made plans with the baby. I was going to do everything with the baby that I didn’t do with Gabby and Bethany. Stay at home and change all the diapers. Shop for her clothes. You know the baby was a girl when I had day dreams. Danny, did you ever have any dreams with the baby?”
Swallowing to cushion his own inner pain, “Yes, I dreamed the baby was a girl. I saw you holding her in a pink blanket and you had a Jack in the Box with a hand on the crank with the music playing from the music box. The baby never had a face that I could see. I never told you because I saw it as a bad omen….Our trip to Hawaii after Thanksgiving was supposed to fix the problem.” Turning Michelle to face him, “Do you have something that you want to share with me? Bethany saw you vomiting this afternoon. And unlike her mother, she tells me everything. How many more pregnancy tests are you going to do before you tell me?”
The tears formed in the corner of her eyes, “I was afraid to display any emotion of happiness, the happiness can turn quickly to grief. There isn’t a guarantee that this baby will make it to full term. My schedule isn’t going to get easier, if anything it will get harder with more responsibility. I’m battling racing thoughts of whether it is a good time to be pregnant along side the yucky side effects of the pregnancy.” The reassuring hug from Danny with his usual kiss on top of her forehead was what she had grown accustomed to in their short marriage.
“Do you want to see a doctor here in San Juan?”
“No, not here. I’ve made an appointment with a doctor in Philadelphia that specializes in difficult pregnancies. The first pregnancy was complicated with toxemia and the second one ended in a spontaneous abortion. I’m a doctor and I know that I have to give this pregnancy the best medical care that I can.” Tapping his hand, “This time, I want to wait until I am through the first trimester before we tell Gabby and Bethany that a sister or brother is coming in the late summer.”
Tucking the always-loose strands of hair back behind her ears, “I have my own secret. After you lost our baby, I arranged to have the remains buried in the family plot in Chicago. Abuella went with Ray and me to the cemetery where the tiny white casket was interred beside my father and Mick. The tiny grave is marked simply with Baby Santos on a white marble stone with an angel holding a butterfly in her hand.”
Michelle gasped at hearing Danny’s secret. “Our baby has a tombstone!”
Sobbing in Danny’s secure arms, Danny held Michelle close to his body pausing for the right time to continue. “Honey, I’m not sure if this is the best time to have this conversation. The stress of reliving the loss of the baby can’t be good for you or this baby. Dr. Sedgwick advised me to wait until you were ready to talk about the loss of our baby. Thanksgiving came and by early December, you wanted to try to have another baby.” Grinning at Michelle, “The long weekend in Hawaii was doctor ordered and we came home with this baby.”
Raising his eyebrows, “The new baby helps to explain your behavior at Christmas in Philly. It wasn’t the quiet Christmas that we wanted with Carmen renting a suite in the Ritz Carlton.”
“Carmen will always be in our lives and I want her to feel free to visit her grandchildren. When Pilar and Bill have a baby, the focus will shift to the grandchild closer to her.”
“Danny, you and I know this baby will draw Carmen even closer to our family.”
“Yes, it will but with scanning pictures and sending e-mails, Carmen has settled down nicely into our new living arrangement. She may not like the separation but she has accepted the thousand miles separating her and the grandchildren.”
“Now, we have Carmen out of the way; what are we going to do to help the expecting mother and father?” With their fingers interlocked, Danny rested his chin on Michelle’s right shoulder. Michelle answered, “Trust God to give us another miracle with a normal delivery.”
Danny added, “Think good thoughts, eat properly Dr. Bauer-Santos, no skipped meals.”
“Danny, I do eat well when I get time to grab a meal at the hospital.”
“Michelle, the key isn’t to grab a meal but make sure that you try to put it first.”
“Danny, I promise to do better this time.”
Biting the saltine cracker in Michelle’s hand, “You ought to add some peanut butter on the crackers.”
“The idea is to soothe the acid in my tummy not add to the acid.”
“Rest is very important and the first sign of spotting, means to bed you go. Right, Michelle?”
“Yes, I will do exactly what my doctor hubby wants. Until then, can I be treated normal?”
“Michelle, when have our lives been normal? Normality would be very boring for people with our disposition.”
“Danny, I would love to have one season of normalcy.”
Lifting her chin up to the sky above, “What type of activity are we having in the sky tonight? This might be as close as we are ever going to get to being a normal couple.”
“There have been a few shooting stars in the northeast, pointing with her finger to the sky off to her right side. Orion’s belt is above us. The Southern Cross is directing us to the two Gemini.”
Danny saw the two bright stars that he knew to be in the winter sky back home. “My wife has become an astronomer!”
Pinching Danny’s cheeks, “I had a very good teacher. Danny, where do the shooters go to after we see them in the sky?”
“Ah, you are asking me?”
“Yes.”
“I think the heavens have kept that mystery for a later time to be disclosed.”
“But that is a question for the Jolly Mon as Bethany Joy would say.”
“Bethany Joy loves the book and she is satisfied that the whale is up in the sky taking care of everyone’s problems. We are very lucky to have two healthy kids with great imaginations.”
“Yesterday, it was extremely enjoyable to watch Gabby pretending to read Jimmy Buffet’s Jolly Mon book to Bethany Joy.”
“They have the pages memorized of certain books. If our next baby is a girl; it would be nice to have a Savannah Jane. Another little island girl for Bethany to play Barbie with and setting Gabby free of the Ken and Barbie world.”
Squeezing Michelle’s body closer to his chest, “Do I hear a preference being voiced here?”
“No, I don’t think that I have any preference; transference of my thoughts of a child lost to one belonging to the future.”
“Michelle, what do you think of us waiting until the baby is born to know the sex? With the number of sonograms done to follow the development of the baby, it takes the surprise out of the gender of the baby.”
“So you want to wait until the moment that the lower extremity is delivered to know the sex of this baby.”
Nodding his head indicating “yes”, “It will protect us from developing an attachment to a specific sex and God forbid if an awful tragedy occurred again.” Shifting his feet to support Michelle’s body weight and his weight, “I don’t want to ever have you go through the pain that you did last spring.”
“Never, never.”
Danny’s eyes roamed to the downtown San Juan. “I will always ascertain that the FBI agents constant harassment was the fundamental cause of the stress, which resulted in the miscarriage.”
“Danny, the FBI are never going away. They see me as the outsider with the information to solve a murder.”
“Mick is dead but his contribution to the family still haunts the future of my family.”
“Well at least, they haven’t visited me in Philadelphia.”
******
Danny blocked out the part of hearing Philadelphia and inserted a spring day in Springfield. The day had been unusually busy with one phone call after another, which prevented the concentration that he desired to review the monthly reports. Listening to the concern in Rick’s voice, Danny shoved the reports off the desk to the floor. The immeasurable anguish burned immediately inside his stomach. The unfolding event happening at the hospital was out of his control. Once more, he was in a place that he felt exposed to One with an authority and power over him.
“Danny, you have to come immediately to the hospital. Michelle had a spontaneous abortion a few minutes ago. Dr. Sedgwick wants to do a D&C as soon as possible. I know that you want to be here for Michelle.”
“I’m on my way!”
Yelling for Olga while picking up the reports off the floor, “Olga, I have to leave the house. It’s Michelle and the baby. I want you to call my mother You know the evening routine with Gabby and Bethany Joy. I might be away for the night. If they ask questions; tell them that I’ll be home after they go to sleep.”
“Se Danny, the baby is OK?”
“No, the baby isn’t OK. The baby is no more.”
Grabbing the man that she served, “Why did this happen? This will break Michelle’s heart. She wanted this baby so very much.”
Jimmy’s arrival in the house switched the focus to Danny. “Why the buzzer?”
“I’ll tell you on the way to Cedars Hospital.”
Jimmy sat in the passenger’s seat watching the speedometer of the black Porsche reach a speed above the 90-miles/per hour on the beltway with barely a reduction in speed on the downtown street exit close to the Cedars Hospital. The siren from the police car followed close to the barely visible black dot that grew to the size of a car in front of the Emergency Room. Leaving the engine running in the car, Danny told Jimmy to “take care of business”.
The automatic door opened to Danny where one of the nurses in the ER recognized Michelle’s husband. “Mr. Santos, Dr. Bauer was transferred to the OB-GYN unit.” Writing the number 301 on the note pad, she pressed the piece of yellow paper in his hand. “I’m very sorry.”
Danny acknowledged her words with a small nod of his head. “When was Michelle transferred?”
“Approximately 15 minutes ago. Dr. Sedgwick wanted Michelle to have some privacy to grieve. She is devastated.”
At the busy unit, Danny saw the room numbers listed on the plate on the wall, to his right the rooms went to the delivery room and well baby nursery and to his left was the room where Michelle laid in a hospital bed. Standing at the door for a quick moment to gather his thoughts and strength, Danny heard the voices of Rick and Michelle speaking with Dr. Sedgwick
“Danny will be here soon. I’m not going up to the OR until I see him. I have to tell him. He will blame me for not taking care of myself.” The sadness stirred in Danny’s heart with hearing Michelle’s assessment of the miscarriage.
Tapping on the door, Danny turned the metal door handle. “I’m here, honey.”
The pale color of Michelle’s face contrasted with the two bloodshot eyes. The two physicians reasoned with Michelle to explain the loss alongside giving the words of comfort to a fellow colleague. Dr. Sedgwick clutched Michelle’s hand in her own. “Danny isn’t going to blame you. This was out of our control. For a reason unknown to us, the uterus decided to expel the fetus.”
Michelle listened to the words of her trusted physician. “Did you save the fetus?”
“Yes, it is in a specimen container. As you know, the fetus can be sent to the laboratory for diagnostic studies or we can……”
Danny stepped inside the door, “Michelle- Michelle and I will make the decision together. Can I speak with Michelle in private?”
Dr. Sedgwick left the room and waited for Rick outside the door. Rick paused at the foot of the hospital bed where he patted Danny on the shoulder. “Take as long as you need.”
Danny’s warm tears merged with Michelle’s tears when his cheek brushed her cheek where his hands held her face to his face. “I wish, I had the words to heal your broken heart. Dr. Sedgwick is right. The medical reason isn’t important why the uterus expelled the baby. It can’t bring the baby back to us. Let me tell Dr. Sedgwick that I will take care of the remains.”
Danny left Michelle’s bed and opened the door to find Rick leaning on the wall. “Michelle is ready to go to surgery. There won’t be any diagnostic studies done on the baby. After Michelle leaves the room, I will call a funeral home.”
“OK Danny. If you need a burial plot, I know there are several next to Maureen.”
The orderly with the stretcher arrived and several minutes later, Danny walked alongside the stretcher to the double doors of the OR Suite. Rick pushed the round knob on the wall for the doors to open. “Danny, the procedure will take less than 5 minutes and Michelle will be in the Recovery room for at least one hour before she is brought back to the floor. If all goes well, she will be discharged to go home tonight.”
Smiling down on Michelle, Danny leaned down to kiss Michelle one more time. “Remember I love you.”
“Danny, I love you.” The whimper of the hushed sob was the last sound that Danny heard after the doors closed.
At the end of the hallway in a solarium by himself, Danny dialed the phone to summon his cousin. “I need you to perform a service for the family. Michelle lost the baby late this afternoon. I want you to take the remains to Rundle’s Funeral Home tonight.”
Ray made the sign of the cross before he entered the room where Danny stood looking out the window. The early spring thunderstorm raged outside the window. “Danny, did Michelle have any symptoms indicating there was a problem?”
“None that she ever expressed to me.” Danny handed the paper bag to his cousin, “The funeral home is waiting for you to bring this to them. The director has a tiny casket ready for the baby. He will transfer the contents in the container to the casket. Tomorrow, you and I are driving to Chicago to bury Baby Santos with my father and Mick.”
Taking the bag from his cousin, “Is this OK with the hospital? They might be able to discover what went wrong.”
“Ray open the bag and look at the fetus in the container. The fetus isn’t a damaged goods. I want the baby buried intact and definitely not dissected baby parts. Also, I do not want Michelle seeing you leave here with the remains.”
“You are right, Danny, but how are you?”
“I haven’t had time to digest the consequences. I was the one fighting Michelle having another baby so soon after the birth of the twins with her entering a residency program in Philly. When she found out that she was pregnant in February, she was as happy as I have ever seen her. Michelle is the type of woman born to be a mother. I personally think that motherhood keeps her connected to Maureen.”
“Strange as it seems God takes what is good and gives what is good.”
Turning to his cousin, “I want you to explain the mystery to me one day.”
**************
Eighteen months later, while shaving Danny thought of the turbulent day in spring and to the day in January when Michelle announced that God was back in the giving business.
Danny rechecked the two backpacks next to the door. Inside the backpacks were the new items purchased at the Toys R Us when he and the twins had made the trip to shop for their morning sessions at the Child Care Center at the Thomas Jefferson Hospital. Michelle had given him the list and he had chuckled at the list: large bath towel for naps, crayons, finger grippers for pencils and writing pad with lines.
Michelle was two weeks overdue and the visit yesterday to her specialist had been discouraging. The baby was in the right position for delivery but he wanted to wait another week before inducing labor. Last night, Danny and Michelle had listened to the heartbeat of their baby and watched the baby stretch the arms and legs in her expanded abdomen. The baby’s name was undecided and many trial names had been written on the note pad on the bedside stand in Michelle’s fine script.
Danny closed the backpacks and went to get his morning shower. Out of the shower, Danny toweled his wet body off while he listened to the early morning messages on the answering machine. The burning question of the day was from two women in Springfield. “How much longer was the doctor going to let Michelle go before medically inducing labor?” Danny pushed the conference call button and dialed the two telephone numbers. “Good morning Carmen and Aunt Meta. Michelle went to work this morning. The baby is fine and the head is in the downward position, which is causing a lot of pressure on Michelle’s bladder. The doctor wants to wait one more week before inducing labor. He thinks the baby will come before Michelle’s next scheduled visit.”
“Yes, today Gabby and Bethany are starting preschool. They are cautiously excited….. I’ll hang around until I see that they are settled in for the morning…… They have visited the school with Michelle a couple of times…..Mama, we have been over these questions too many times to count……They are only spending the morning at the preschool. Michelle and I felt that with the new baby, they might get a bit jealous if they are suddenly out of the house all day and the baby is here at home.”
Sitting down to dry his feet, Danny saw the red numbers changing on the clock next to the bed. “They keep asking when the baby is going to come out of Michelle’s abdomen. Michelle is great with letting them listen to the baby’s heart beat and then they listen to their own hearts with Michelle’s stethoscope……I promise that as soon as I hear the word, I will call……Bye to both of you.”
Outside in the hallway, the noise of Bethany and Gabby running from their room to the nursery bought Danny’s immediate concerns back to the twins. “Hey, what are you two doing in here?” Raising his eyebrows at the two beaming faces staring up at him, “We have got to eat our oatmeal and get dressed for preschool.”
“Pap, whas tha babe?”
“Your Mommy still has the baby growing in her abdomen….Remember the baby has to be able to eat and breathe on its own before its ready to leave Michelle’s body.”
Danny had seen how their inquiring minds seemed satisfied with the simple truth. Michelle had used the stages of her pregnancy to teach Gabby and Bethany about the impending birth of their sibling. The concept of time was impossible to explain to the twins but they did understand eating and breathing in air into their lungs.
At the hospital, Michelle pulled her patient’s chart from the carousel and flopped down in her chair. On the back desk was the clear glass fish bowl with money that continued to grow with the baby pool. Each day another person lost their money when Michelle’s light was turned on signaling that she was back for another day of duty.
The staff on the Pediatric unit had given her a baby shower the first of August with many expecting an early delivery. The first of September came and went with the middle of the month finding Michelle’s pregnancy two weeks overdue. The prospect of having a medical induced labor was an unpleasant idea so much that Michelle had begged her specialist to let her go one more week.
With the new pen in her hand, Michelle began her chore of writing new orders on the stack of charts. Flipping the pages in her faithful notebook, she placed a check beside the young patients name and crossed through the note before handing the chart to the nurse. The sharp pain came out of the blue and the “Oouch!” was out of her mouth before Michelle realized the significance.
“Dr. Bauer-Santos? Is this what I think?”
Rubbing the top of her abdomen while waiting for another indication that the pain had a rhythm, “I believe the labor has finally begun. I’ll finish writing the orders and charting on the progress notes for my patients. Dr.Graham will be covering the few patients that I have. Danny has his hands full today. The twins start preschool. They are possibly on their way to preschool as we speak.” Michelle signed the last order on the chart and then extracted the cell phone from her white lab coat.
“Hi. Where are you?…..Hmm, you are still at the center…..Are you planning on spending the entire morning observing Bethany Joy and Gabby’s interaction with the other children? ”
“No, Michelle but they keep looking around to see if I am still here.”
“Danny, why don’t you tell them bye once more and walk out the door. After you do that; then come and have a cup of coffee with me.”
“Michelle, you have time to have an leisure cup of coffee with me this morning! Have they finally kicked your pregnant butt home? ”
“No, but I might be in need of my handsome husband to hold my hand this afternoon.”
After hearing Michelle’s speculation of the pending birth, “You are in labor!”
“Yes, yes, our baby is finally coming.”
“Michelle, where do you want me to meet you?”
“I’m preregistered at the admitting office. All I have to do is show up at the labor and delivery unit. I’ll wait here in the doctor’s lounge for you.”
Michelle heard the swear words in Spanish. “Of all the days for this to happen, this baby decides to make his or her entrance into the world. Gabby and Bethany are expecting me to come and get them after lunch….Well, it is going to have to be Olga and Jimmy doing what I can’t. Carmen and Aunt Meta can be here in 3 hours after I call them. The jet is on stand-by waiting for Carmen’s call. Michelle, you stay put where you are until I get to the hospital.”
Meta Bauer sat the suitcase and package down on the bench outside of the Bauer kitchen door. Abbey waited with her while she watched Freddie playing with his fleet of matchbox cars in the sandbox. “Aunt Meta, please tell Michelle that Rick and I will be coming to see her and the new baby the next weekend that Rick has off. I put a new matchbox car in the bag for Gabby and I knitted a Barbie doll sweater for Bethany’s Barbie. The baby quilt is for the new Baby Santos. Michelle has always been so appreciative of hand made presents.”
Meta smiled at Abbey, “She will love it. Michelle is surrounded with wealth but the girl has her priorities straight.”
“It was nice of Carmen to offer you a seat on the Santos jet.”
With her usual dry humor, “The two legged spider has her decent moments. Danny has made a honest effort to keep the spider in her own web and away from Michelle. Michelle living in Philadelphia with those sweet children of hers has been hard on the Bauers. I try not to think what it would be like if we had all stayed home that summer and not taken vacations leaving Michelle alone in this house. It is almost like yesterday that we came home to find Michelle gone and married to the young handsome man connected to what they call “The Family Business”. I block out the thoughts of the twins being raised under the influence of that ruthless woman.”
“Meta, Danny loves Michelle and their children with the passion that we all wanted for her.” Making a silly face with wiggling her nose, Abbey said, “Danny wasn’t Bill Lewis.”
“No, he wasn’t and now Bill Lewis is married to Pilar. I think Vanessa and Maureen gave Michelle and Bill a special gift to see the best in other people. Abbey, take care of my little buddy while I am away. I see the black spider’s car coming.”
“Aunt Meta, you have got to watch what you say. Freddie might start calling Carmen, the black spider lady. ”
“Abbey, please don’t make her into a lady.”
“How long are you going to stay with Michelle and Danny?”
“As long as she will have me.”
“Oh my, I see the duel of an aunt and grandmother on the horizon. ”
“No, both of us are well passed that stage. I want to help where I can until things settle down for Michelle. Carmen has Pilar’s daughter back in Chicago to dote on these days.”
“It saddened my heart when I saw Michelle struggling to move on with her life after the miscarriage. The sadness was with her and she put up a brave front to hide the loss. The support was here for her but they withdrew from all of us to take their love to a higher plain where they found the healing balm, which repaired the wound in their hearts.”
“Aunt Meta, the baby was a cure for Michelle’s depression.”
“I totally agree, Abbey. This baby will do wonders for Michelle. It has already erased the doubts that she would never be able to carry a child to full term. Everyday, Michelle deals with sick babies; many suffer from complications of being born too early. When she finally holds a well full term baby, she will be free of her own guilt.”
**********
In the doctor’s lounge, Michelle made a list to give Danny. She smiled at the items on the list for Danny to accomplish in the next twenty-four hours.
1.Call and reassure Gabby and Bethany
2.Do not fill the hospital room with flowers
3.ASAP bring Gabby and Bethany to hospital to see the baby
4.Be patient with me as I adjust my schedule
5.Please no supplement bottles “Yet”
6.Be a nice host to Aunt Meta and Carmen
Michelle heard Danny’s voice long before she saw his excited face. “What type of hospital is this that you don’t have an adult wheelchair?”
“Mr. Santos, this building has only infants and children to 10 years old. May I remind you that we have chairs that fit the size of our patients. Dr. Bauer is perfectly capable of walking to the elevator and riding down to the ground level where she can walk across the quad to the Adult Services Hospital.”
Danny’s voice raised another decibel. “Get this straight -Michelle’s name is Dr. Bauer- Santos! Santos!”
Michelle took another sip of her caffeine free tea before she pushed her chair back from the table. She dropped the Styrofoam cup in the wastebasket. Draping the strap from the tote bag on her shoulder, Michelle joined her husband at the Nursing station. Speaking in a stern tone, “Danny, I’m ready.”
Danny anxiously questioned Michelle. “Ready for what? Are you ready to have the baby here?”
Stomping her swollen foot on the floor, “To walk to the Labor and Delivery Unit. You did call Aunt Meta and Carmen?”
Raising one of his eyebrows at Michelle’s question, “Yes, I did.” Danny placed his hands on his hips where he locked his thumb inside his black pants. “Ah, I hum honey, I asked a simple question.”
Michelle put her finger up to his lips. “Shhh! You got an answer from the nurse.” Michelle folded the paper in half and tucked it in Danny’s shirt pocket. “This is a list to keep you busy while I read all the medical articles that I am behind in reading.”
“OK, I get your point. I admit to being hyper but don’t you think it is a little strange that they don’t have an adult size wheel chair?”
“Danny, give it up!” Rubbing the top of her abdomen where she felt the baby’s foot kick, “Now apologize to Martha and we can go.”
Counting to ten before he responded and biting the top of his bottom lip, “Martha, I’m sorry to question the service of this fine institution….Michelle hand me your bag. It weighs a ton!” Danny walked to the elevator where he pushed the down button. Danny and Michelle rode down in silence. Walking across the quad, Danny was struck with the poignant idea that if all went well; by dinner, they would know the sex of the baby. Neither had openly expressed a preference during the pregnancy. For the first time, Danny wished for another son. The reason was simple. He wanted the infant buried in Chicago to maintain her special place in his heart.
Danny paced the imaginary circle outside the bathroom door while Michelle finished the last details of the preparations for the labor stage. “Michelle, are you sure that you are OK?”
“Danny, I maybe a little green but believe me; it is much better this way. Have you heard from our families?”
Talking through the door, “Yes, they will be landing in Philly in thirty minutes. Justina went with Olga to the preschool. Bethany and Gabby are making cookies for Carmen and Aunt Meta.”
“Danny, the contractions are getting close to five minutes apart. The labor is moving quicker than I thought it would.”
“Michelle, what do you want me to do?”
“I think the nurse might want to know and call the doctor. Dr. Marcello is in the hospital.”
“Are we going to have to go to another room for the delivery?”
“No Danny, the room is a faade. Don’t you remember the tour that we had after the birthing classes? It is a new concept with making the rooms appear more like home.”
At the hospital bed, Danny pressed the call button. “My wife’s contractions are close to five minutes apart.” The door opened from the outer core before Danny had finished telling the nurse that the doctor should be called. “The enema must have increased all the abdominal activity. We have to get Michelle hooked up to the internal baby monitor.”
In what seemed like a short time, the room was filled with a resident, intern and another nurse. Michelle was positioned on a bed with the foot dropping down at the same time that the resident started an IV. The nurse watched the intern position the probe in the opening in the uterus. The fast heartbeat sound from the monitor satisfied the staff that the probe was in the right place. “The labor is moving light speed into the final stage.”
The resident rattled off the patient’s information to the intern.”Dr. Bauer- Santos has what many describe as a silent labor. The uterus has been contracting for a while with what many feel are Braxton Hicks contractions. Her history presents with multiple preemie birth and a miscarriage in the fourth month. The expected due date is questionable but the last sonogram shows a baby with a normal six and half- seven pound weight. She is a good eight centimeters dilated. Dr. Marcello is on his way down from the OR. He wants to be here to deliver the baby.”
“Dr Santos, how are you doing? Are you still committed to a natural delivery? This is the last call for an epidural if you have changed your mind.”
“Yes, I am committed to the natural delivery and I want a local for the episiotomy.”
Patting her on the knee, “Gotcha” The nurse dropped the disposable medication on the table holding the sterile instruments. “Okay, we wait for the tiger.”
Dr. Marcello entered the room with his hands and arms scrubbed up to the elbows. “Michelle, you pulled a fast one on me. I didn’t think that we would meet this soon.” With the doctor dressed in his sterile gown and gloves, he inserted the needle into Michelle’s stretched skin to insert the xylocaine. Danny turned his head away from the overhead mirror. Next Dr. Marcello lifted the scissors to cut the skin, which would allow the baby’s head easy passage. “Mr. Santos, how would you like to catch the baby? After we have the head and shoulders out the rest will follow easy.”
“Michelle has done her part.” Danny shook his head. “I’ll cut the cord but the delivery is in your hands.”
“Danny, I want you to take the baby from my body. You can tell me the sex of our baby.”
Ten minutes later, Danny held Michelle’s hand as she screamed and pushed the head from her body. “Oh God, this hurts so bad.”
“Baby, you are doing great.”
“Michelle, we need you to really concentrate. This is going to hurt but the baby must have some help to make one more effort to push the shoulders through the birth canal.”
“I don’t think I can do it, Danny.”
“Michelle, you can do it. Listen to me. The baby is exhausted and you have got to find the strength to push with all your might or they are going to have to use the forceps. Focus on the breathing.” With one final push, Michelle pushed with all her might to deliver the baby.
Resting in the green surgical towel was the baby that they had waited nine months for to be born. Dr. Marcello placed the baby on Michelle’s abdomen. “You have a fine baby boy.”
The scissors almost slipped out of Danny’s hand as he cut the slippery umbilical cord. His son’s movements began with the kicking of his feet and putting his thumb in his mouth to suck. The flickering long eyelashes with the white substance opened to see the bright light shining. The big dark pupils matched the eyes of Michelle, his mother. The nurse lifted the baby from Michelle to wrap the baby in the warm white baby blanket. “Little one, there is a mommy that is waiting to see you.” She held the baby boy down so that Michelle could get a closer observation of her son.
Michelle softly touched the baby’s face and kissed his forehead. “He is so big…..Danny, we have another son and he is hungry already.” Michelle guided the baby’s mouth to the nipple of her enlarged breast. With the nursing connection established between the baby and the nipple, the baby rested in Michelle’s arms, content for the first minutes of his early life.
Dr. Marcello asked the new parents, “Have you settled on a name for your son?”
Danny listened while Michelle answered the question. “No, I wanted to wait and judge the baby’s disposition. With our family being bilingual, it is important for the name to fit both families. I toyed with the idea of naming the baby after the gender of the grandparent’s names. He doesn’t look like a Miguel or Edward.”
The news of the baby’s arrival reached the Santos’s condo shortly after Olga had served the lunch to the two ladies. The business phone started ringing then the private home line when Olga picked up the phone in the kitchen.
“Se Danny.Beb est aqui!” Meta chewed a bite of chicken salad as she listened to the housekeeper.
“I don’t know many words of Spanish but I did hear the word baby.”
“Cuando? Ah ten after twelve.”
Carmen laid her napkin on the table. “Let me speak to my son!…..Daniel….Un Muchacho…I’m repeating your words to Meta…..7Ibs. 22 in. ….We will finish our lunch and walk to the hospital…..I understand. Michelle wants to tell the twins the sex of the baby herself….How is my daughter-in-law? Tell her that she did good.”
Hanging up the phone, Carmen threw an imaginary kiss up to her husband in heaven. “Olga, what florist does Danny use here in Philadelphia?”
“I’m not sure but it has the words Blue Gates. There is a card from the florist in the drawer beside the refrigerator.”
“Hum, I want to order Michelle’s favorite flowers and dinner from the Italian Restaurant for them to have at the hospital tonight. Michelle can eat fettuccini and a white cheese sauce. Daniel was fond of the salmon with rose sauce and penne noodles. Meta, we are going to eat out tonight to celebrate my new grandson.”
Danny held his son and rocked the sleeping baby while Michelle ate the light lunch. “The gang is on their way here. Where do you think the baby should be when Bethany and Gabby arrive?”
Contemplating the question, “The bassinet is a neutral ground.”
Michelle closed her eyes to catch a few minutes of rest while she waited for her twins to make their appearances. Danny kissed her forehead and slipped out of the room to place the call to the downtown florist. “I want to place an order for three dozen red roses…..First quality only. To be delivered by 11am tomorrow. On second thought, change the order to four dozen roses.” Danny choked back the words to be written on the card. “From the four little Santos Hearts.”
The elevator door opened with Gabby and Bethany arriving with their plastic zip lock bags filled with oatmeal cookies. “Pap, wee have wookies for Mommee.”
Danny scooped up the two in his arms. “Do I get a kiss and a cookie?”
Smothering Danny’s cheeks with wet kisses, both answered “Wes”
“Your mommy has somebody to show you. The baby was born today. Inside the room, your mommy and the baby are resting. Now when you touch the baby, you touch very softly. What I am telling you is important to remember; do not touch the top of the baby’s head. Do you understand?” Nodding their heads to indicate that they understood their father’s instructions.
Danny carried the two in his arms back inside to Michelle’s room. “Honey, we have visitors. Aunt Meta, Carmen and these two were hunting for the room with a new Baby Santos.” Michelle patted the two spots on the bed for the twins to sit. Her arms extended to receive their hugs and kisses. “Come here and tell me about your day at school.”
“I wade wriends and had snacke” was the first response given by Gabby.
“Bethany, did you make new friends?”
“No, Gabbyee, my wriend. Thay don’t play Barbees. Gabbyee plays Barbee whiff me. Wee play outside.”
“Hum School is a fun place to go and learn how to play with other children your age. I have someone very special in the room. Your baby brother is a sleep in the bassinet. Do you want to see him?”
“Wes.” Taping Michelle’s hand to get her attention, “Can I weed tha babee?”
“Only a mommy can feed the baby now but when he gets older, you will be able to share your yogurt and cookies with him. Your Papa is going to bring the baby here and you can hold him briefly.” With the twins resting on their knees, Danny lifted the baby’s head and torso from the bassinet and carefully laid the blanket wrapped bundle in Michelle’s arms.
Gabby touched his lips to the baby’s red cheek. “Mommy, tha babee has a wenis?”
Bethany turned Michelle’s chin to face her for a moment to ask the next question. “Tha babee made like my bratha.”
“Yes Bethany Joy, the baby is made like your brother.”
“Can my bratha kry?”
“Yes but he is resting and isn’t talking to us yet. Babies cry when they want to get our attention.”
Meta and Carmen stood at the door watching the baby’s introduction to the two three-year-olds. Meta busied her time catching the precious moments on the digital camera in her hand.
Carmen kissed Danny’s cheek, “I have to say that this is as good as it can get. Abuella would be here if she could travel but her hip surgery has kept her mobility to a minimum.”
“I know Mama; we will get her out here soon.”
Gabby’s fingers pulled the white closure back to open the carefully packed plastic bag of cookies with the intention of sharing one with his brother. “Sweetie, it is a nice gesture to share your cookies but the baby can’t bite and chew cookies yet. He doesn’t have any teeth. I see that you have brought two special people to the hospital. ”
“Mommie, Gwan mommie and Weta whur at home wheen wee got home from schykuly. Thay ahre steying fer a wong tyme.”
Combing Gabriel’s curls with her fingers, “Isn’t it nice that your grandmother and Aunt Meta could come to see us?”
“Yep.”
“Honey, why don’t you get Carmen settled in the rocker so that she can be properly introduced to her new grandson….Carmen, can you stand the thought of having another grandchild?” With his hands, he outlined the shapely figure of his young attractive mother. “You are too attractive to be the Abuella to four grandchildren.”
Reaching out to pinch her son’s cheek, “Thank you Daniel, I’m glad that you noticed.” Snuggling the baby against her body, Carmen drifted back to the time when she had held Mick, Danny and Pilar in her arms for the first time. Her smiling husband beaming with great pride at what they had created from their own love.
Carmen’s silence and far off distance stare lasted until Danny called her name. “I wish that Miguel was here to enjoy the births of all of his grandchildren. He would have been a good grandfather. Thank goodness, Abuella is still alive. She is going to love this little fellow.”
Meta bent down to see the baby’s facial features. “Michelle, I hate to tell you what my old eyes are seeing and I don’t know if I should say what I see but the baby is a replica of one of my old beaus from New York City.”
“Aunt Meta, you must be talking about the financial adviser. What was his name?”
“I’m not sure that I ever did tell you his name. Lancelot Shakespeare. With a name like that you might expect that he came from a family of frustrated entertainers. Lance and I spent many a cold night in the city walking from the financial district up to the theater district.”
“Why didn’t you marry the mysterious Lance?”
“There were many reasons but the outstanding reason and the one that I prefer to discuss; he was a east coast man and I was a Midwest gal. In my day, it was unheard of for a couple to be married and live in separate cities.”
“Your love story is sad, but if you had decided to stay in New York City; all of Springfield might have missed your lectures on what is really important in life. My brother Rick and Phillip Spaulding certainly benefited from your wisdom and guidance.”
Winking at her niece, “They were two tough cookies to crack. Rick and Phillip didn’t have mothers and it was easy to step into the role of a substitute mother. Speaking of your brother, Abbey and Rick sent a present for the little charmer….Danny, if you like, I can take Gabby and Bethany Joy back to your home. It is an easy walk.”
Shaking his head, “No Aunt Meta, I will walk everyone back to the condo. I think the excitement of the day’s events might be getting to two young kiddos.”
“Michelle, it is important that you get the needed rest while you can. Do you have everything here?”
“My bag is packed at home with my nursing bras and pads. Inside the bag are a mint green baby gown and a white flannel blanket for the baby to wear home tomorrow. You might want to take the time and put the baby carseats in both of our cars. Are you coming back tonight?”
“Yes, I plan on spending the night here at the hospital with you and our new son.”
“On the top of my bedside stand is a book for baby names. Please bring it back tonight.”
Kissing Michelle on her lips, “Sure, but can the baby leave the hospital without a name?”
“Yes. I can’t wait to be home with the baby but I want him to leave the hospital with a name. Baby Santos isn’t very charismatic sounding. If I have one regret in my life; I didn’t give our last baby a name.”
Tucking her loose curls back behind her ears, “I hear what you are saying. We will take care of the naming business tonight.”
“Okay, Gabby and Bethany Joy, it is time to hug and kiss Mommy goodbye.” Planting their kisses on Michelle’s cheek and hugging her neck, they sled down the bed to go and get a last glance at the baby that was getting a lot of attention in their grandmother’s arms.
Tapping Carmen’s arm, “Granney, you hav to gibe the babey back to Mommie.”
“I know. I was getting properly introduced to my grandson. Do you want me to put the baby in the bassinet?”
“Wes.”
“Hum, do I sense a bit of jealousy here?”
“Carmen, let us get going before the “J” word really starts.”
The late summer afternoon was beginning to show the change coming soon in the weather with the cool refreshing air hitting their faces as they exited the hospital door. The Santos family strolled home walking through the park where Gabby and Bethany ran to the vacant seesaw. The seesaw lost its fascination for the swing sets standing unused. The request from Bethany of “Push me higher” highlighted the adventuresome spirit of one twin. Gabby was content to pump with his own legs to push his swing higher. The promise of an ice cream cone at the corner ice cream shop stopped the play in the park.
The older shop owner smiled down at his two young customers. “What flavor are we eating tonight?”
“The usual for me, Sammy, and my mother and Meta will have the lemon sorbet.” Danny lifted the twins to see inside the glass-cased freezer where all the 52 flavors of ice cream sat in the large round cardboard containers.
“Banilla pleeasz”
“Jocolate for mee”
“Where is the Doctor this afternoon? I haven’t seen her in the store since she came in and got the two gallons of hand packed chocolate ripple ice cream.”
“Michelle had our new son today! The only food item that she craved during the two pregnancies was chocolate ripple ice cream. She didn’t like running out of the item at home.”
Handing the small cones to Gabby and Bethany, “Now, I know why you two like vanilla and chocolate ice cream.”
Sitting at the round table, Carmen and Aunt Meta watched the twins licking their cones with their dark pink tongues. At a certain point, Gabby and Bethany exchanged the cones. “Hum, I don’t know how hygienic it is for them to continue to share their cones but it is so sweet and cute to watch.”
“I agree with Meta. Danny, why don’t you ask for the two flavors on one cone.”
Lifting his left eyebrow, “We tried that once, but Gabby doesn’t like the flavors mixed. Michelle has taught them to share and they share everything including switching ice cream cones.”
A half-hour later, Danny sat at the computer desk and connected the digital camera cable to the tower and sent the new images of his family to computer screens at Rick Bauer and Pilar Lewis’s home.
Michelle and I have another living extension of our love. I know our love will go on forever. D&M.
Down the hallway, Meta placed the wrapped package from Abbey on the rocker in the Nursery. The soft yellow walls with the abstract white and blue sky and clouds dabbed over top of the base paint resonated with joy and peace. The room reflected the inner emotions of her niece. On top of the dresser was a family picture of Michelle in the early stage of the last pregnancy with Danny, Bethany Joy and Gabby taken on the beach in San Cristobel. Michelle’s life had come circle. In the past two years, all of Meta’s doubts had been erased. The tormented teen years had been replaced with the peace and joy that a woman discovers in motherhood.
Opening each of the four drawers, Meta saw the neat organized baby clothes, which was evidence of Danny’s skills. The flashback to the clutter in Michelle’s closet then and to the neatness now in her home showed how Danny ran his home with the help of Olga. Olga had done what she had failed to do with Michelle. Taking a baby gown and another undershirt from the drawer, Meta added the two items to the white baby shawl and infant white socks.
“Meta, you didn’t have to do this chore!”
Smiling back at the man with his folded arms, “I wanted to help where I could. Michelle is known for traveling light and I added the extras for the baby in case the baby spits up on his coming home clothes. Carmen is reading to Gabby and Bethany Joy in their room. It only takes one to read and I got the hint pretty quickly that is her domain.”
Rolling his eyes and smiling, “My mother can do that to people. She does it with Abuella also.”
“Michelle described the Nursery to me over the phone. She did a good job!”
Danny unfolded his arms to touch the baby bed, which Mick had made. “Everything in the room is new except The Pirate Bed. Michelle and the twins use to love climbing in the bed to read. Your niece taught them how to jump up and down on the bed. We had a hard time getting Bethany and Gabby to accept twin beds; the Pirate Bed has been their only bed that they could recall. Michelle finally told them a little white lie that the baby had to have the bed to sleep in at night.”
“So the Santoses didn’t have funds to purchase another bed! Business must be bad back in Springfield.”
“Meta, business couldn’t be better, but I’m sure that your ears don’t want to hear details.”
Astonished at Danny’s honesty, “You have got that right. I think we should move on to a safer subject, food. Your mother ordered dinner for Michelle and you from a restaurant, which both of you like.”
“Carmen told me.”
“Danny, I might be overstepping our set boundaries but I often wondered what happened to Dr. Heidi Rasmussen after she left Springfield?”
Leaning back against the wall, Danny answered Meta’s question. “Heidi has a new job back in New York City.” Pausing for a moment before giving out additional information, “You didn’t have any personal knowledge of Dr. Rasmussen but she was unable to have children. Regardless of your personal opinion, Heidi was an advocate for Michelle and I admit to my own interest. She identified with Michelle and the female doctor issues. At the time, Michelle was in need of a mentor. Michelle was a young mother of twins struggling with a mother’s guilt of not being picture perfect to Gabriel and Bethany Joy. Michelle was close to walking away from her professional dream. If I had to, I would have made a pact with the devil to make Michelle’s dream come true.”
The sudden angst of the night came rushing out of the place that stored the unpleasant memories of his life. Stepping closer to Meta, the tone and flow of Danny’s voice changed to frighten the older woman. “I don’t know if Michelle shared with you, but I gave her the chance to walk clear away from me. I offered Michelle the freedom of flying out of my life and release from what I am sure the Bauers saw as an imprisonment.”
Speaking in a calming voice, “My niece never bought her married life to me, maybe to Abbey. It is obvious to everyone that was concerned that she chose to stay in the Santos family. The Nursery, in itself is a message of her lifetime commitment to you. I may have celebrated many birthdays but my old eyeballs can see the endearing behavior and actions, which Michelle and you share. Love can soften the hardest of hearts. The love that both of you have is the purest kind of love.”
“The Bauers are pretty strong headed and have been known to make a few mistakes. Abbey made a quilt for the baby and I was to inform you of their impending visit later this fall. Possibly about the time of the peak color changes in the fall.”
Danny smiled at how far Meta and he had come in their relationship. “Uncle Rick’s antics are entertaining to Gabby and BJ. Freddie Bauer is their only Bauer cousin and I want the twins to connect to that side of the family, also. I do have to get back to the hospital.” Clutching the small book of baby names in his hand, “I’ll add this to what you have gathered. Thank God that Michelle has room in her heart for all of us.”
The catered dinner was in the process of being set-up when Danny slowly opened the door to Michelle’s hospital room. “I smelled the aroma of the seasonings outside in the hallway. Can you believe all of this food? There has to be enough to fed the staff.”
“Honey, I’m starving. After you and I eat then we can open it up to the staff. How is my son doing?”
“Your son was starving, same as you. He is a quick learner and has down pat the breast feeding.”
“A son after the ole man huh!” Peeking at his sleeping son in the wooden cradle, “He has already started to change since I last saw him. Can I serve a plate for you, Michelle?”
“Please but go light on the salad dressing.”
“You might like to know that Meta and I had a civil discussion earlier this evening.”
“Hum now what does that mean?”
“Exactly what I said, we kept our attack dogs in the kennel.”
Carefully gauging Danny’s comment, “Aunt Meta has always treated you with respect; she will speak her mind when pushed.”
“Honey, I’m specifically talking from the time of the Christmas night dinner at the Bauers till today. Your Aunt has had an attitude adjustment or has an accommodating new vision of your life with me.”
“Oh how I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall to have heard this conversation. I can see it now! You had your arms folded with your eyebrows arching depending on how the conversation was going.”
“Stop making fun of my idiosyncrasies! You do know me.”
“Well, to tell you the truth, I have seen you react with the folded arms, arching eyebrows and hurt puppy dog look on several occasions.”
With the two filled plates in his hands, Danny approached the bed. “I’m the luckiest man in the world.” Softly kissing Michelle on the cheek, “Maybe, we should try and do this again next year.”
Michelle wrinkled her nose at Danny. “The way my bottom feels at this moment, I have no intentions of being a mother again.” Their eyes connected for the brief time and the spell was broken when Michelle spoke, “I am the lucky lady for I walked into a college night club with few expectations and left with a very handsome man that was going to take me on a life altering journey.”
The flashing snippets of their brief history emerged in her mind. Her sassy conversation with a mysterious man, the smell of his cologne, dancing in the security of his arms, the whirlwind courtship, a wedding chapel at night, the camping trip to El Yunque, their first road trip around the exotic island, the raging hurricane and birth of the twins on New Year’s Day, a tiny white grave marker in Chicago and now a new healthy son sleeping a few feet from her.
“Danny, I am the fortunate one….All the many years that Aunt Meta has been in my life, she seldom talked of the time, which she spent in New York City. There was a tiny rumor of leaving her heart in the city. Today, for the first time, I can understand her sacrifice. Aunt Meta was there for me when my father wasn’t. What I am going to ask is totally unplanned. I want to give our son a name, which reflects our heritages. Lance gives off nice vibes with a touch of mystery. In the Spanish section of the baby names, I saw Pascal and it keeps popping up in my mind. The name just seems to fit our son. I like the sound of Pascal Santos.”
“Michelle, are you sure of the names? We don’t have to rush into naming our son. Why don’t we try out the names and see if they fit his personality. He is different from Gabby and Bethany. They were demanding of everyone’s attention for months. This baby is quiet and very content to be with you.”
Danny set his plate aside on the table. Lifting the sleeping baby boy from the cradle, “Honey, I forgot how tiny and light a baby was until I held our second son in my arms.” Repeating the name out loud, “Lance Pascal Santos.” The eyes of the baby blinked with the long black eyelashes opening and the baby stretching his arms and legs to the full body length. The beaming smile on Danny’s face spoke the words, which Michelle shared with her husband.
When I heard the news, there’ll be baby shoes in your near future.
I waited and wondered if they would be pink or blue.
No one had to tell me what a heart beat means. It was a heart beating with a bit of you and me.
The words can’t describe what I see. It was going to be a little of you and me. Words can’t describe how I feel inside; life is such a wonder.
Like this:
Like Loading...
