Ghost! – Chapter 2

Continuing to post previously unavailable chapters of an older Manny fanfic.

I smooth my palms over the skirt of my black linen dress, which is wrinkled across the lap. Why did I buy linen? I was in such a hurry; it was just yesterday afternoon when I realized that the only black garment I owned was a cocktail dress with spaghetti straps, so Jesse drove me out to the mall, where I bought the first suitable-looking dress I found in my size.

I wonder if I’m in shock. Most of Springfield turned out for my father’s funeral today, but I felt strangely distant from the entire event. I didn’t even cry during the service – not because I don’t feel anything, but it really felt like I was watching a movie the entire time. There was Rick, his face pale and lips trembling, rhythmically rubbing my shoulders, never failing to be the supportive big brother; Abby, clutching my hand in hers as we sat side by side in the pew; Blake, sobbing openly across the row; and Ross, eloquent and dignified, but with one perfect tear rolling down his cheek as he delivered the eulogy. Part of me wanted to scream, to tell everyone to stop, that the Ed Bauer they were all mourning was not the Ed Bauer I knew; he was no saint, he was a drunk, he broke my mother’s heart, he abandoned me and my brother. Another part of me wanted my daddy back, to take me in his arms and stroke my hair, the way he did when I was a little girl, and tell me everything would be alright, so I could believe it.

Now we’re back at the house, and there are familiar faces swimming all around me. I’ve just sent Jesse out for more ice, already assuming the role of lady of the house, the good hostess, in a way I never would’ve while my father was still alive, no matter how far away he was. People seem to be lingering, reminiscing. I am restless and jumpy; I want everyone to leave so I can finally exhale.

I walk outside to check the mail, just as an excuse to get away from the comforting pats and the sympathetic glances. Here’s the water bill, a packet of coupons, a reminder for Rick to schedule his next dental appointment, a handful of what I’m certain are condolence cards … and a letter, addressed to me, in a slim, plain white envelope. There is no return address, but the postmark is local and the handwriting is vaguely familiar. Still standing outside by the mailbox, I slide my finger under the flap of the envelope and rip it open. The letter inside is handwritten.

Dear Michelle,

I read about your father’s death, and I thought about how fondly and proudly you spoke of him. I won’t pretend to know how you feel right now; the death of a parent, as you already know, is a very personal experience.

I’m sorry I never had a chance to meet your father. Even without having had that privilege, though, I know that he was someone special, because he raised you to be the woman you are. The strength of his spirit is evident in the strength of yours.

I know you are surrounded by family and friends and are in no need of condolences from me, but please know that my sympathy is sincere.

Love,
Danny

I reach out to grab the mailbox for support. My heart has skipped one, maybe several, beats. I’m confused and somewhat angered by Danny’s gesture, but also deeply touched and, well, secretly thrilled. Danny Santos, who I barely knew and often feared, but with whom I shared a marriage, has given me more comfort by writing a few lines than I’ve found in a roomful of people who’ve known me since I was born. I don’t know what to make the fact that he wrote the note — and especially the fact that he signed it with “love.”

Tags: Abby Blume Bauer, Blake Marler, Danny Santos, Ed Bauer, Ghost!, GL, Guiding Light, Jesse Blue, Manny Fanfic, Manny fanfiction, Michelle Bauer Santos, Rick Bauer, Ross Marler