Loving Michelle by Carla Chapter 3

Republisher’s Note: Tonight we have some pretty darn sad stuff (a Manny baby dying) and also some pretty funny stuff. To fully appreciate the comic relief you have to have read quite a bit of Manny fanfic. At one point there were sort of a clump of writers who commented back and forth and critiqued each other’s stuff. You will find mentions of these people Carla, Holden, Mary Grace, etc. The brownies are also a frequent motif. The lemon Jell-O is new, but I’m guessing that’s also a reference to something else that I’m not getting.

Michelle boarded the airplane and found her seat in the front of the plane. She put her luggage up over he head and settled into her chair. She put the head phones on her head and plugged them into the outlet provided.

Soon she would be in the Dominican Republic and she could get this nightmare behind her. She had an appointment with a lawyer her dad had recommended who was a close personal friend and had gone to the Dominican Republic for the climate and the overall change of scenery.

He could be trusted, her father had told her. He had given Mechelle his business card. His name was Robert Wallace and his card had said that he specialized in quickie divorces and there was a picture of a heart ripped in two on the card next to his name.

It was meant to be comical, but Michelle failed to see how the dissolving of a marriage could be thought of as funny. Funny was definitely not the word she would use to describe it. She still hurt from her divorce. She hadn’t wanted to divorce Danny, had been silently begging him to come ask her to stop the proceedings. At least then he would be talking to her. He had quit talking to her altogether after…..

She pushed that thought out of her mind. She would not dwell on that. Not right now. The fact was he did not try to stop the divorce and had chosen someone else to marry within a year. What did he have them waiting in the wings or something??

She couldn’t stop the hurt that she felt at him marrying again but she wanted him to be happy, truly she did. She just thought she would be the one to make him happy and for a short time, they had been blissfully happy.

They had settled into married life as if they themselves had invented the institution. She had continued with school and he had worked to legitimize the business.

Carmen had been completely against the move. In addition to fighting against the other families, he was having to fight against Carmen as well. He had been running into one brick wall after another.

It soon began to take its toll on him. He began to come home distant and moody. He started pulling away from her even though he swore that he wasn’t, when she had finally asked him about it. She still made love to her like the old Danny but that was the only time she felt close to him and you couldn’t stay in bed all your life.

He had promised to make time for them. She had rearranged her entire schedule at the hospital so they could have time to work out the problems that had arisen but he grew more distant with each day until finally he was gone completely.

She was brought back to the situation at hand when she saw the stewardess turn on the fasten seat belt sign signaling their impending take off.

She had done it. She had managed to avoid Danny for the last two days by not taking his calls. There was no need for him to go down there with her. She had an appointment with Mr. Wallace the day after tomorrow. She had it all planned out. She would spend the day sightseeing, enjoy a lovely dinner, meet with Mr. Wallace the next day, have her heart broken for the second time in a year and then be back before Danny even knew she had gone. She would give him his divorce and he would be free to marry Amelia. She would do this much for him because she still loved him so much. He was going forward with his life and she was going to let him.

Amelia seemed to adore Danny. She had been heartbroken at her interrupting the wedding the other day. Michelle felt so bad barging in like that but she really had had no alternative. She hadn’t taken delight in ruining the other woman’s wedding to Danny. If Amelia could make Danny happy, then Michelle would support it 100 percent. She wanted what was best for him. He had been too sad in the last year.

She wondered what had been going through his mind while he had been standing at the altar with Amelia. Had he thought of her at all?

That was a stupid question she chided herself. Of course he didn’t think of her. He had only wanted to accompany her to the Dominican Republic to ensure that she didn’t screw up the divorce again. He couldn’t wait to marry Amelia.

She was a little perturbed at him thinking he was the only one inconvenienced by the whole thing. She had a life too and she had work and this was not a good time for her to be gone either. She was needed at the hospital.

The entire hospital was still in an uproar over the scandal and investigation of one of the nurses who had been assigned to one of her patients.

Her patient has been a young man badly in need of a kidney transplant. They had been looking for one for him for a long time and the chances of finding one had dwindled down close to zero. Lewis was a trooper though. He had won the hearts of all on the ward expect for one Nurse Holden.

Michelle hadn’t wanted her anywhere near Lewis because she made Lewis feel so uncomfortable. Lewis had even told her once that Nurse Holden was trying to kill him. He wanted that nice Nurse Carla who always brought him homemade brownies that she had used to make for her long lost love down in Puerto Rico.

He had also mentioned that she had scared him a time or two by opening the door and jumping and screaming AHA, as if she were trying to catch him doing something he shouldn’t be doing.

Despite her attempts to keep Nurse Holden busy with other patients, she still managed to find time to terrorize Lewis.

The one night it happened. Her information was sketchy because it had come from Jesse, who was now working at the hospital as an orderly. His painting career was in the toilet. He had not been able to find any inspiration since the night he came home and found Drew in bed with Danny’s cousin Ray. He was also considering becoming a Jew or a Muslim, he hadn’t decided which.

Michelle had felt sorry for Jesse and had gotten him the orderly job at Cedars and he had been doing pretty good until one day he got a urine sample and a cup of apple juice mixed up. A patient had almost drank the cup of pee and only Mary Grace’s quick thinking had saved the day. Jesse had been moved to the night shift after that.

He had told Michelle he had been going by Lewis’ room and heard him crying saying something about Jell-O.

Well, Jessie had said. He had been hungry and if Lewis didn’t want to eat his Jell-O then he would eat it for him.

He opened the door and found Nurse Holden feeding lemon Jell-O to Lewis despite his pleas for her to stop. The citric acid in the lemon Jell-O caused Lewis’s kidneys to completely shut down and he had died.

Jesse said he was going to rush Nurse Holden but she had held him at bay with a spoon until she could make her escape.

As comical as it all sounded, Lewis had still lost his life because of the reaction his body had had to the Jell-O and Nurse Holden was in a lot of trouble. She had fled and no one has heard from her since although it had been rumored that she had spent some time with some people called the Hicks.

Jesse had been reassigned yet again to the housekeeping department and Michelle hoped that he could make that work. He was running out of places to screw up in.

The plane began to taxi down the runway and she breathed a sigh of relief. She had made it. In two days all of this would be over and she could get back to her life and Danny could get back to Amelia. She cursed the tears that came but she allowed them to flow just the same.

* * * * * * * * * *

She hadn’t seen him yet, Danny thought. Her seat was up front and his was towards the back a good 10 rows back. He watched her head move. She thought she had managed to avoid him for the last two days but only because he had been so busy telling Amelia why she couldn’t come with him. He had to do this alone.

He promised to make it up to her. They would have the wedding all over again when he became divorced for real this time.

The wedding guests had been very understanding; however, Carmen and Amelia had not. Alaina and Alissa had been excited about getting to wear their pretty dresses again and getting to throw the flowers on the floor. He always got such warm feelings when she thought of Amelia’s precious nieces. They were such a joy and he looked forward to becoming a father himself. Michelle would have been such a good mother.

Damn, he did it again. He had to quit that. He hated it when that thought popped in his mind. Michelle would have been a great mother, he knew that, but his future was with Amelia now. She would be the mother of his children.

He willed back the pain thinking about children brought to him. It should have been Michelle. Everything should have been Michelle but she had shut him out. She had been so deep in her own grief that she hadn’t let Danny in. She had completely shut him out. He had lost two people that day. He had lost their precious son whom he had adored and he had eventually lost his wife.

The familiar pain was there whenever he thought of Will. His tiny son had not had much of a chance when he had been born but he had fought so hard to live.

He remembered how he and Michelle had stayed at the hospital each day and took turns rocking him. Michelle would sing to him and Danny would tell him all about baseball, Especially the Atlanta Braves. One day, Danny had said, Will would pitch for the Braves.

Will have been born too early and was just too small. The doctors had tried everything to stop the labor but despite their best efforts, William Daniel Santos had been born weighing a mere 2 pounds 4 ounces.

The doctors had prepared them for the worst but Michelle had refused to listen. She would not accept the fact that Will was going to die.

Danny had known though. He had known that little Will, that God had chosen to give them, was going to leave them soon. God was making a place for him in heaven.

Danny had been so mad at God then for allowing them such joy and then snatching it away. Michelle still refused to see the truth even when it had become evident the end was near.

Danny had asked if they could take Will home so he could die in his house with the two people who loved him most with him. Will might just be a tiny baby, Danny had said, but he was loved by this mother and father and he wanted him to go in the embrace of the people who loved him and die with dignity.

The doctors had agreed to it and had unhooked all of the tubes and had wrapped him in the blanket that Michelle had made for him.

They had taken Will home and dressed him in the christening gown that Michelle had bought before Will was born. They had each wanted a moment alone with their son to say goodbye. He didn’t know how Michelle had spent her time with Will but Danny had held Will close and begged God to take him instead.

God apparently had not thought that was a good trade because later that night with Michelle rocking him and humming and Danny knelt down by his head rubbing his head covered in dark curls, Will Santos breathed his last breath.

It had taken him over two hours to finally get Michelle to let go of him. They called Rick and he had sent the coroner over for their son.

Everything good in Danny Santos died that night with Will. Michelle had grieved and never stopped. Will’s death had eventually led to the death of their marriage.

He had given up the hope of ever finding something to look forward to again. Amelia’s nieces had given that back to him. He had immediately been taken with them and bit by bit, they had managed to make him realize that all of his love hadn’t died with Will but there was a tiny bit left. They had made him realize that he could love another child. He wanted that child to be his and Michelle’s but she had made it clear she had no love left ever even for him after Will had died.

He saw her lean her chair back. It looked like she was going to try to sleep. She would be so surprised when she saw him here. She thought she was being cute by not returning his calls but he had won this round.

His old girlfriend from college, Sarah Jane had gotten her husband Dave to help him. He had “hacked” for lack of a better term, his way into the Springfield airport’s reservations files and Danny was able to find out what flight she had booked. He had wanted Sarah Jane and Dave to come to the wedding but she had candidly informed him that she couldn’t be a part of a wedding when he didn’t love the bride and besides she had a contract to fulfill. She performed stand up comedy at the Ramada Inn in Washington DC three nights a week.

He had only seen Michelle once since the divorce not counting today. He should have known she would have been there. He just hadn’t been thinking.

He had gone to Will’s grave on his first birthday. That was just last month. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Will had been buried in a private Santos cemetery. He had found Michelle sitting there and reading him a Curious George book. He watched her read the book to his son. She hadn’t noticed him standing there yet.

He knew he was invading on her privacy but it was just the way he had always dreamed it would be, Michelle reading to their son only Will would be alive instead of in a wooden box in the cold ground.

She finally sensed him standing there and turned around and saw the tears in his eyes. She had put the book against the headstone and got to her feet. He hadn’t been to see Will in over two months. He noticed the new truck that she had put on his grave. Michelle always brought Will something. He saw the tiny stuffed Winnie the Pooh, the beanie baby that looked like a shark and a photo of him and Michelle. There was writing on the photo but he couldn’t make it out from where he was standing. He found out later what it had said. She had written on their photo, To Will on your birthday, Mommy and Daddy love you.

He still felt the stab of pain around his heart today as he had that day when he had seen her. Michelle had seen his tears and came to stand next to him. Neither one of them said anything for a long time. they simply honored their sons memory together quietly.

Finally Michelle left him alone with Will after telling him she loved him. He had knelt down and seen the words on the picture. He had completely broken down then and he had been glad that Michelle has already gone. He didn’t want her to see how much he still grieved for Will. He had told Will goodbye that day and that Daddy would always love him but that he wouldn’t be back for a while.

He reached into his pocket and left his own birthday gift to his son. It was his and Michelle’s wedding rings on a tiny chain. He wanted Will to know how much they had once loved each other and it was out of that great love that Will had been conceived.

He had called Amelia later they day and told her he would marry her. She had been pestering him to marry her and he had been putting it off. He had finally put Michelle and Will behind him. It was time to go forward.

Danny brushed back the tears and put his seat back up. The stewardess noticed the tears and asked if she could get him anything. He shook his head no, he was fine.

He wasn’t fine though. His delicately balanced world had come crashing down around him with Michelle’s announcement.

His attempt to go on with his life was being hampered by the fact that he would always be loving Michelle.

Tags: Danny Santos, GL, Guiding Light, Manny Fanfic, Manny fanfiction, Michelle Bauer Santos