Dear Next Canceled Soap

If Guiding Light and As the World Turns could be canceled, any soap could be. So let me get some requests in before you start writing the end. I’ll just add that this is honest advice and totally non-selfish because the last 2 of my soaps left are The Young and the Restless and The Bold and the Beautiful and while Les Moonves reasons are just as stupid about why he’d want to keep them as they were to dump the others, I really do think they are safe for the time being and the next axe will fall on someone else’s soap.

1. Give up business as usual. At this point, ratings really don’t matter and if what you were doing was working, you probably wouldn’t be canceled in the first place, so no more “clever” plot twists, no more newbies with bad hair or even fan favorites from a different soap as a new character, and no more rewritten history. You’ve done your best with that junk, you’ve failed – move on.

2. If you’re going to put a couple back together for the end, go ahead and do it. You’ve tortured us enough. Don’t rush it in the last 5 minutes or even the last 5 days, PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER.

3. Try something truly revolutionary. Make people happy. We’re never going to see these characters again, you don’t have to save anything back for later story. Let them work out their issues. Let them have happy plots and happy challenges, let them build their house (at Laurel Falls for instance), plan the wedding, find the lost child, get pregnant. BE HAPPY! It will be a challenge for you soap writers, but I think you’re up to it.

4. Play your vets heavily. They’re the people we’re most likely going to miss the most, not your latest flavor of the month (with a couple of exceptions – RIP Reid Oliver).

5. Don’t make ANYONE get a fatal disease. It sort of was a clever idea with Phillip on GL, but it has now officially been done to death (irony intended) & we’re going to be crying our eyes out anyway, why add to that? This is especially true if someone, like say Helen Wagner, has really died and it makes all this fake death and especially fake almost death look cheap and shoddy in comparison.

6. Again there is no longer any point in saving anything for a future story, even if you can’t afford or can’t get the actors back from beloved characters there is absolutely nothing stopping you from once or twice a week having someone get a postcard, letter, one-sided phone call, or even an e-mail from a beloved character that is now off the show just checking in, letting us know they’ve been in contact with their family and are happy and safe somewhere out of town. It would also be an excellent excuse for a couple that is still on the show to have a happy conversation with each other – which is something else fans want.

7. If you do get to bring back a beloved character, give them more than a 5 minute scene. Surely you have to pay them for at least an hour of work. Put them in a couple of scenes & have them actually have conversations with their relatives and close friends in town, and if it’s a returning couple give them at least one conversation with each other and one last amazing kiss. PLEASE!

8. Follow Guiding Light‘s example of how many favorites to bring back. Follow As the World Turns‘s wonderful integration of clips from many decades into current story.

Anything I missed readers?

UPDATED September 23, 2015: I actually didn’t change anything in the body above. I did add my signature block. When I originally wrote this back in 2010 All My Children and One Life to Live hadn’t fallen yet.

Robansuefarm is the handle of one of Manny and Guiding Light‘s biggest fans following in her family’s footsteps of Guiding Light fandom since 1939. This blog is an effort to make it easy to find Guiding Light and especially Manny online. Check back here for her blog, find fanfic previews and fake WSPR newscasts on her YouTube, find podcasts that look back to old shows and audios of her fanfics on Blog Talk Radio, and finally follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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