Archive for the ‘Michelle and Danny Santos’ Category

Goodbye My Friend – Maureen’s Death Updated 2014

July 15, 2014

I had previously posted on this topic, but since the original post I have found a lot of additions and updates. I’ve tried to work them in, but at this point think it will be clearer if I just start again. Click to below to find the original post:

For Manny fans watch these clips to: see Michelle cope with the worst tragedy in her life, see Ross and Ed BE best friends instead of just hearing that they were,

Maureen Reardon Bauer 1993

Maureen Reardon Bauer 1993

understand Michelle and Holly’s relationship, and see the connection between Michelle and A-M or why she should have gotten to talk to him at the last scene in the bar in Nov. 2005, even if it would have upset stupid Marina.

ClassicGL aka Kahlil Lowry was hit by a car and was killed 10/31/2008. His family made the decision to keep his Guiding Light Memory Project going. We thank him for his efforts. While his versions might not be the most complete available on YouTube, the range of stories he covers is unusually thorough. The majority of the links in the post come from his version of the story of Maureen Reardon Bauer’s death. I’ve added additional clips and if I find better copies or copies at all of crucial scenes currently not listed below, like the affair itself or Michelle asking Roger Thorpe to stay at the visitation because he was his mother’s friend (see I’m not just whistling Dixie about her attracting trouble) or Holly ripping  into Ed when she learns exactly what happened, I will revisit this critical aspect to the Manny story and really to all of Springfield history.

Maureen’s death was absolutely pivotal to Springfield history. Showing just how much impact and how many shockwaves this story set off, the March 2, 2010 issue of Soap Opera Digest has two articles about soap opera deaths and both feature a prominent mention of Maureen’s death, 17 years after it happened and 11 months after the cancellation of Guiding Light was announced. Her death was also the instigation for an entire generation of Springfield young people who bonded over the fact that they had all (at least thought permanently) lost at least one parent.

NOTE: I know it looks like there are a lot of clips linked to below, but the ones from the main channel are only a few minutes each (almost all less than 5 minutes). Scroll past the storyline summary and comments for links.

The Storyline:

In one of the worst mistakes in Guiding Light history, Michelle’s mother Maureen Reardon Bauer was killed. Lillian Raines was preforming a routine monthly check of her breasts and found a lump. Ed supported her during her fight against breast cancer. At the same time, Ed was resentful of the time and energy Maureen was putting into her new job at Spaulding Enterprises. One night Ed and Lillian slept together and that might have been the end of it, but Lillian wrote Ed (one of her friend’s husbands) a thank you letter completely spelling out the affair. Maureen found this letter and left Ed over his repeated infidelity. She probably would have forgiven him eventually, as she had for several previous affairs, but he just kept insisting that she had to forgive him now. Disgusted Maureen took off upset and in poor driving conditions and her car crashed. She makes it to the hospital, but dies soon after and they are unable to revive her. She was an organ donor and her heart was transplanted into Jesse Blue at Ed’s request (we learn this much later). Her death appeared on screen January 11, 1993. The hole in the canvas resulting from Maureen’s death is never fully filled as TPTB throw away the perfect opportunity to move Manny in the central couple position of tying nearly everyone on the canvas together once held by Ed and Maureen, which would not have fixed the mistake, but would have filled an important and long empty spot on the canvas.

Scroll below the links for in-depth explanations of Eve Guthrie’s presence and Rick’s absence.

Running Comments:

The following is a running commentary from watching the clips. This took place in 1993. The furniture in the kitchen had changed slightly by 1998. Those awful, ugly vegetable prints were on the wall already though. I kind of wish when Danny was shot he would have gotten blood on them instead of the floor so they’d had to get rid of them.

Although Ed and Eve were later engaged, at this point they are only friends. It was Lillian that Ed’s most recent affair had been with. Vanessa was Maureen’s best friend that’s why Ed checked with her to see if Maureen had called her. Vanessa and Maureen were one of the truly great GL friendships. Later when Jenna’s ghost visits Vanessa, Vanessa tells Jenna she feels like she only ever had two true friends (Jenna and Maureen) and now they were both gone. Even while Ed’s calling looking for Maureen, it’s already too late, Maureen will never step foot in the Bauer house again. Ed calls Blake, his former step-daughter who was currently living in the apartment above the garage to check if she’s heard from Maureen.

Vanessa understands why Maureen died, which is why she’d never  would have shared her wedding with Lillian. Sorry Lillibuzz fans, it rang false. Oh, if only Maureen had gone with Vanessa when she asks. “Write her another letter.”  – Maureen found out because Lillian wrote Ed a thank-you letter for the affair. (I mean a THANK YOU letter! And Tina Sloan wonders why people never got over it?!)

Ed changed his name from his childhood name of Billy to Ed to distance himself from his father because of his drinking and womanizing. However, he copied both in all of his marriages. Michelle plays an important part in this story. She sees Ed and Lillian together (though not during the act itself). Michelle heard Maureen crying when she left. Maureen tells Ed she can’t put up with his infidelity and lies for Michelle. I think Maureen would have eventually forgiven Ed because she loved him warts and all and as she says this wasn’t a surprise. I don’t think she could break away. She just needed time and space, but Ed was so self-absorbed, he insisted she had to forgive him right then.

Maureen only got pregnant that we know of once. It was a year or two before Michelle was born. Maureen considered Michelle her daughter, but never gave up on having another child with Ed. That’s what she was doing with the book about getting pregnant that Ed finds in the car.

The worst part of the whole thing about Ed’s affair with Lillian was that it wasn’t even the direct cause of Maureen’s accident, it was that he kept pushing her to forgive him right now. If Ed could only have trusted in their love and given her some space, she’d have come back to him. She always did, but unfortunately that’s Ed.

This is important to the Manny story because this is all Michelle can think about when Carmen tells her Danny slept with Drew. In fact the very line Maureen tells Ed she fears Michelle will learn from his behavior is what Danny says right before he sleeps with Drew, thinking Michelle doesn’t love him.

For all his skill as a doctor, Ed can’t save everybody. Rick’s mother Leslie (then Ed’s ex-wife) also died in a car accident (although that was a hit and run). Here Ed tries to put Maureen’s purse back together instead because that is something he can fix.

I’m still not sure where the Nick and Eve relationship is at this point, but that must be what Nick is doing there. Vanessa is Maureen’s best friend (again why there is NO WAY under heaven she would have shared her wedding with Lillibuzz). Alan-Michael is Ed’s great-nephew (which is kind of funny because after SORAS-ing, A-M is much older than Michelle, but an entire generation younger, it’s his mother Hope that is Michelle’s first cousin).  Ed does pay his penance, how would you like to work everyday where your spouse died when it was your fault?

Eve was a good doctor, a total whackadoodle, but a good doctor. That must have really hurt Vanessa to say Nadine was very nice and it was out of character. Ed also is putting the whole thing in terms of his needs and desires even as Maureen is on her deathbed. It’s just soooo Ed.

Bridget is in the attic because she is pregnant with Hart’s baby off a one-night stand (yep, Prince Charming did that twice) and when she realized he still wouldn’t marry her she made a deal to basically sell her baby to Nadine so Nadine could keep up the pretense that she was pregnant with Billy’s child which was really the only thing holding their marriage together since she had to get Billy drunk to get him to marry her in the first place. They came up with a lie that Bridget was going on a sort of service learning trip to Appalachia to explain why no one ever saw her and why she wasn’t in contact with them. That’s the class trip they keep talking about and why they would be trying to contact Bridget through Springfield University.

Lillian is diagnosed with Breast Cancer – The scene is labeled wrongly on YouTube

Ed and Lillian dancing way too closely at Mindy & Nick’s almost wedding reception before the blackout.

Ed and Maureen final confrontation

Ed and Maureen final confrontation
(Starting at 3:30)

Ed and Lillian heat up while trapped in the parking garage. (Starting at 0:50)
(Starting at 0:28) and Lillian kiss) and Lillian kiss some more starting at 2:58)

Lillian writes Ed that thank you letter. (Maureen finds Lillian’s letter- pixilated but crucial) (Part 1) 2) 3) 4) 5)

Part 6 of Goodbye My Friend has the sound disabled, so I didn’t link to it. 7 – Ed finds Maureen at the Bauer Cabin) 8-Ed tries to use Michelle and its effect on her which you can see play out in her future relationships, including her relationship with Danny, to convince Maureen to forgive him and come back. Maureen’s last words. Ed finds the crash site.) Quotes Below

“What is she [Michelle] supposed to believe? Certainly not in words that people say to each other that they call vows because they don’t mean anything.”

“The Hell with it.” – Ironically enough the very line Danny says right before he sleeps with Drew which is what Maureen is afraid here will be what Michelle learns about love from her father.

“That’s not good enough for my daughter and its certainly not good enough for me. God Ed, what were you thinking? How could you have let this happen? You have broken my heart.” – Maureen’s last words 9 – Ed is helpless to save Maureen, Maureen arrives at Cedars in ambulance) 10 –Vanessa confronts Lillian in the chapel – Ed begs Maureen not to leave him alone) 11 – Maureen dies, Ed has to sign a donor permission form and specifically mentions her heart. Later it is revealed that Ed actually designated Jesse Blue to get her heart because he felt some guilt that his drinking had led him not to be on duty the night that Jesse’s mother died and she was one of his patients.) 12 – Maureen Tribute over closing credits)
Pictures of Maureen are shown with many of the important people in her life. Maureen and Ed’s vow renewal (after their separation over, among other things, his affair with Holly). Ed with Blake, Blake was Ed’s former step-daughter and great-nephew A-M’s former wife. Couple of romantic shots with Ed. Maureen and her best friend Vanessa talk. Maureen, Vanessa, and Holly play with seltzer bottles. Maureen with Fletcher, a good friend who she once kissed in a fit of despondency over Ed.  Maureen and Ed watch Michelle play softball – another photo of the 3 of them this same day is frequently used later when Michelle talks about her childhood. Maureen with her niece Bridget (Matt’s sister) who eventually comes to see Maureen as a mentor when she straightens her life up before marrying true love Dylan and moving out of town. Maureen with Roger Thorpe, she didn’t excuse his bad behavior, but was his friend regardless. Another shot with Michelle and one with Ed. 13) 14 – Ed talks about Rick. Ed is still focused on himself, as a father I would have thought his first reaction would have been it would hurt Rick because it was close to how his own mother’s died. Leslie, remember her Ed?) 15 – Everyone is already wearing black [subtle guys] and our little Nancy Drew should have had an inkling from that. Michelle learns Maureen is dead.) 16 – Stops about 1 minute in) 17) 18 – Maureen’s funeral. Michelle preps for people coming over.) 19 – Glad they described the funeral, but I wish they would have shown it. Ed talks to Maureen.) 20) 21 – Michelle withdraws to her room.) 22 – No Lillian, I haven’t forgiven you yet. Vanessa tears into her.) 23 – Ben, Little Billy, and Michelle bond. Bill and Ben are just the 1st two of the many people in Michelle’s life that she feels drawn to through the early loss of a parent. She shares this same bond with Jesse, Drew, Marah, and most importantly Danny.) 24 – Ross helps Ed. Why Michelle should have gotten to talk to A-M in the last bar scene even if it upset Marina.) 25 – Michelle-Lillian smackdown. Ross helps Ed.) 26) 27 – Holly creates a bond with Michelle) 28 – More Holly and Michelle) 29 – Holly explains Michelle’s reaction. Ross tells Ed he loves him. Michelle goes to clean up after people have left, but “it’s all done.”) 30 – Michelle wakes up after she dreams about Maureen.)

Aftermath for Ed

Later Nola laying into Ed and Lillian about causing Maureen’s death even though this is years afterward. These scenes are from October 1996. This is great. (They are all in hospital gowns because they all got food poisoning at Matt and Vanessa’s wedding.) at 1:00)

Why Eve is there:

Eve Guthrie had previously dated Nick McHenry in Europe. She came to town and stalked him for awhile and then they dated for awhile as her behavior became more and more outrageous. Ed helped determine that an incident from her past had caused a psychotic break and miraculously was able to quickly overcome it. Eve and Ed became close friends. Most people in town continued to treat her with kid gloves because while she was no longer violent she still leaned heavily toward the whackadoodle in her behavior. Ed and her quickly grew closer, partly because they both felt like outcasts. Less than a year after Maureen’s death they became engaged. It was then Eve was diagnosed with a quickly developing cancer and while both Rick and Ed tried to find a cure in time, eventually Ed agreed to turn off the life support on a comatose Eve. This second “widowing” within two years, as well as his continued guilt over Maureen’s death, is what pushed Ed to leave Springfield to go off and atone by helping to “save the world.” Unfortunately, it also meant that Ed once again abandoned his children when they needed him most.

Why Rick isn’t there:

Rick, as he later tells Michelle repeatedly, was very close to his step-mother Maureen. If it was real life, undoubtedly both Rick and his best friend Phillip, would have been at the funeral right along with all those Reardons TPTB didn’t actually want to pay to come back so attended “off screen.” However, at this point both Rick and Phillip have “moved out of town” (see my soap opera jargon page).  Previously, Beth had returned from the dead in the company of an odd architect named Neil. She was suffering amnesia about her past and was mute due to a psychosomatic reaction to the event (she thought she killed a man who was trying to rape her) that triggered her disappearance and amnesia. Things were working out, she was talking again, she had regained her memory, and was back with Phillip when Neil, angry that he’d lost her to Phillip, committed suicide in such a way as to frame Phillip for his death. As the 4 Musketeers strove to prove Phillip’s innocence, Rick had married a pregnant with Lizzie Beth to convince people Phillip was really gone and Rick had stolen a corpse from hospital that they set up to be identified as Phillip. Eventually Phillip was cleared, but the crimes they committed while trying to prove his innocence came back to haunt them and both Phillip and Rick were forced to leave Springfield, basically as part of their probation. Phillip and Beth moved to Arizona where they happily raised Lizzie until Phillip learned that it was a family member that insured he be exiled to Arizona and he returned to find out who it was and seek revenge. Rick went to Chicago where the temporary revocation of his medical license helped push him to a pill addiction for the second time in his life and toward marriage with a, pre-driven crazy by Jeva, nurse named Annie Dutton who later followed Rick to Springfield.

Robansuefarm is the handle of one of Manny and Guiding Light‘s biggest fans following in her family’s footsteps of Guiding Light fandom since 1939. This blog is an effort to make it easy to find Guiding Light and especially Manny online. Check back here for her blog, find fanfic previews and fake WSPR newscasts on her YouTube, find podcasts that look back to old shows and audios of her fanfics on Blog Talk Radio, and finally follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

Bauer BBQ 2002 Update 2014

July 7, 2014
Michelle and Danny Santos

Michelle and Danny Santos

We’ve got another great year and again we go from highlight to at least one full episode. Even though I’m sorry that there is more trouble going on in Springfield this year, there’s still a lot of good and I have to say that this rates as a top Bauer BBQ. It’s the first Bauer BBQ post 9/11. With that in mind they both have some feel good happy and pretty hilarious stuff with the fantasies and some true soul searching talking about freedom. Manny aren’t in the greatest place as they are building to another major problem from them, but right now they seem to be in a great place. Bloss have gotten over their problem except that they still have to actually get psycho Tory arrested. Richard is in the hospital following a car crash and he will not survive. Josh and Reva have reunited once again and are about to embark on their most realistic set of martial problems ever which I find to be one of their best storylines. Rick is in desperate need of a heart transplant and worse is married to Mel. Beth is still dealing with the fallout from her latest round with DOD and amnesia and Bill is hoping the psychosis wins. Lizzie is in her last incarnation as cute little kid. Ed is back from his long absence in Africa thanks to Danny and Ed and Holly are back together. Phillip is starting his dalliance with Olivia that will spawn Emma, although it’s too bad because I think when all is said and done she really had a better relationship with Alan and that’s after he raped her by blackmailing her into sex. Harley and Gus are together.

July 3, 2002 – Partial Episode

The night before the Bauer BBQ Danny and Michelle have miscommunications almost derail their best on screen anniversary celebration. Note some rising tensions between them. One of the first signs the Manny story was VERY slowly getting better again during the deep dark best forgotten amnesia year, was when amnesiac Michelle remembers this night.

July 4, 2002

The Bauer BBQ starts with a real nice Ed-Robbie moment. Raising a flag was often the start of the Bauer BBQ going way back to Papa Bauer. Rick had developed a cardiac infection which had permanently damaged his heart before it was detected. His heart is failing now. The great part of this year was the fantasies. Michael O’Leary has said Rick’s fantasy this year was one of the scenes fans mention to him most. Danny doesn’t want to work the grill because despite his grill on the balcony in San Cristobel, grilling is not one of his strengths. His 2001 attempt to man the grill created a wall of fire. Why didn’t they have Danny bar tend? I mean he’s a former professional, I’ll never understand. Once again Danny is wearing is terrific black Hawaiian shirt. I totally love it. These thankful moments are very meaning about where the characters are at that moment. Sadly they only include Manny’s but you can tell they have a little tension in their marriage at this point which will sadly eventually lead to another divorce.

Richard was hurt in a car crash as he was rushing home from his new job as a high end car salesman. Richard had hid their money troubles (Richard had turned all his money over to the crown which now belongs to his half-brother) from Cassie and that he had gotten a job. It’s hard for Cassie because as you saw in the Bauer BBQ 2001 Richard had showed up and surprised her. Everyone can’t help, but remember. I really never really appreciated how great the character of Richard was until I had to deal with Jeffery O’Neil.

The current teen story has Lizzie crushing on Shayne is crushing on Marina. Marina and Shane will get back together.

Yankee Doodle Dandy 2002

Yankee Doodle Dandy 2002

Great little Manny bits behind Bill and Beth. First they are messing with each other’s food and then they scooping up Robbie to take him in for his name. Beth is dealing with the aftereffects of her latest being assumed dead with split personality amnesia. Olivia is married to Alan at this point, but Olivia and Phillip are fighting an attraction (inexplicable and lasting only long enough to cause a lot of trouble and create Emma). Phillip is in his typical wants to have his cake and eat it too mode and while he is happily reunited with Beth, it’s not enough — hence Olivia. In a totally stupid and implausible story while Bill was off canvas he ran into Beth’s alter Loreli and wasn’t at all freaked out by the fact she looked like Beth who he’d known as a friend of his parents his whole life and never thought it was worth mentioning to anybody. After Loreli was reintegrated back into Beth, she suddenly remembered Bill and that they’d had a hot affair (for a penniless amnesiac, she certainly got around, even more than Reva – poor Michelle had to stay in town and suffer the awful writing when she lost her memory). Olivia has gotten Beth’s diary and knows about the affair, Beth only partially remembers. Alan once again claimed he wouldn’t come to the BBQ and yet there he is. Bill is a future ex-husband of Olivia’s.

Rick is suffering from a virus which attacked and weakened his heart. He is in desperate need of a transplant to live. He isn’t paralyzed, but incredibly weak hence the wheelchair. He is currently married to lawyer/doctor Mel who won’t discover she has a personality until she’s paired with Cyrus in the last year a fact her family blames on Rick and not her.

There was a series of fantasies that day. The most well remembered is Rick’s, but the funniest is Olivia’s, Phillip is US President and Olivia’s First Lady fantasy. Sadly so far Olivia’s is the only one I’ve found.

Rick has a full Yankee Doodle Dandy musical sequence. Find it 14:00.

Phillip as President of the United States full of errors because what does Olivia know about American politics, she’s a San Cristobelian. Find it 17:00. It shows once again Phillip is about to get involved with a woman who is only interested in HER version of him.

Bill’s fantasy is that Beth’s psychological issues push her around the bend and she dumps her family for him. Find it at 21:00.

I really like it when they honor the history by having someone going through something Reva already did, to ask her for advice, like Beth does here. Things are righter with the world when Reva’s back in red and Beth is back in pink.

Reva was trying to decide whether to honor Richard’s last request and terminate his life support without involving Cassie. I like that Reva is the go to person for fellow amnesiacs in Springfield. Michelle also later gets her advice during her bought with amnesia.

Robansuefarm is the handle of one of Manny and Guiding Light‘s biggest fans following in her family’s footsteps of Guiding Light fandom since 1939. This blog is an effort to make it easy to find Guiding Light and especially Manny online. Check back here for her blog, find fanfic previews and fake WSPR newscasts on her YouTube, find podcasts that look back to old shows and audios of her fanfics on Blog Talk Radio, and finally follow her on Twitter and Facebook.


Bauer BBQ 2014 by Robansuefarm Chapter 2

July 5, 2014

Author’s Note: Nope still not divulging much. I will say that I just gave Michelle my mother’s new car because loves it and I thought Michelle would too.  It’s a 2014 Jeep Cherokee. Also, in making sure we have the kids at the right ages, the then Marcy Rylan had son Jackson, who should get credit for playing the baby bump that was H.B. Lewis IV, on  Oct. 21, 2009. Since she only revealed her pregnancy in the flash forward set in September 2010, Little Billy the Fourth should have been born at least approximately Oct. 21, 2010 which would make him 4 now and a year older than Dani Santos. Sarah Randall was born in 2006 and she is 8 this year.

Bauer BBQ 2014 by Robansuefarm Chapter 2

It was a short drive over to the Bauer House on Skyline Drive and still early. Michelle pulled up into the parking area between the house and the garage apartment and said briskly, “OK everybody out!” Robbie grabbed a package out of the back and took off to carry it into his old room. Michelle let Hope dance ahead, and took on her first load with Dani riding her hip and the diaper bag draped over her shoulder messenger bag style. Michelle had pushed the button to make the back of the Wrangler close, but before it could close all the way, suddenly Bill caught it and sent it up again.

“Woah there Bauer, looks like you still have a lot to carry in, why don’t you load me up?”

“Well, Lewis, you always do best as a beast of burden.

“Hardy, har, har. That’s nice talk to someone who got up early to help you on his day off with his wife and infant son,” gesturing behind him as Lizzie came bearing down on them a four year old Little Billy IV pulling her along.

“I’d hardly call Little Billy an infant any more, next thing you know he’ll be breaking hearts just like his Daddy and ‘borrowing’ the car without asking.”

“You first, Bauer. Robbie’s 18 by now isn’t he?”

“He’s 13 as you very well know. You were at his birthday party.”

“AND if Little Billy’s breaking a heart it will probably be with that little girl of yours.”

Little Billy ran up and began yanking on Dani trying to get her down. “We want to play, Michelle. Dani down!”

Billy quirked her a smile, and said “Yeah, Michelle we want to play.”

“OK, OK I know when I’m out numbered.”

She put Dani down and Little Billy grabbed her hand and they took off, a short haired blond and light brown ringlets bouncing away across the parking area and into the kitchen door of the Bauer House.

Lizzie had been about a step behind her son and she threw Michelle a quick “Happy Fourth of July” and kissed the corner of Bill’s mouth as she rushed by. “I’ll keep an eye on them.”

“Here you go. Let’s really load you down and we’ll get all this stuff in the house. I already brought a load over last night. I’ll have to pull the apple pies out of the freezer and rewarm them in the oven, but I think we can get most of this in one load.”

Bill readjusted the load in his arms, “I don’t think anybody will mind Bert’s recipe apple pies aren’t fresh this year. Everybody knows you’ve had a lot going on, speaking of which do you want me to grab that?” Bill gestured with his head toward the last two bags in the rear of the Cherokee.

“No, I”m making a special trip with those, keep your dirty mitts off them….It was really nice of you guys to come early to help with set up, you did last year, too.”

“Well, you’ve showed up with the whole family early every Thanksgiving since Lizzie and I started our new family tradition, it’s give and take, help when you can. That’s just the Springfield way.”

“Here’s some help then, see if you manage to remember your anniversary without Lizzie having to prompt you this year, it’s just 10 days after the BBQ.”

Bill, a little put out, “Of course I’ll remember my anniversary.”

“You put the wrong date on your wedding invitations.”

Bill groaned. “Won’t you and Santos, ever let me forget THAT?”

Michelle paused to think for a moment, before shoulder bumping her friend and walking into the house with him. “Nope, I don’t think, we…at least I…will.”

Robansuefarm is the handle of one of Manny and Guiding Light‘s biggest fans following in her family’s footsteps of Guiding Light fandom since 1939. This blog is an effort to make it easy to find Guiding Light and especially Manny online. Check back here for her blog, find fanfic previews and fake WSPR newscasts on her YouTube, find podcasts that look back to old shows and audios of her fanfics on Blog Talk Radio, and finally follow her on Twitter and Facebook.


Bauer BBQ 2014 by Robansuefarm Chapter 1

July 4, 2014

Author’s Note: I’m actually going to reserve my author’s note for the end and you can all wonder why, like when Perry Mason does that with his opening statement. :) I will say though that I’m not SORASing Manny’s kids so that makes Robbie 13 this year, Hope is 9, and Danielle (who I created in my Springfield Bound story would have been born in 2011 and so is now 3).

Bauer BBQ 2014 by Robansuefarm

“Hmmmm Danny,” it had been years since Michelle had woken to any other thought. Before she even opened her eyes she felt her mouth turn into its instinctive smile and out of habit she reached for Danny on his side of the bed. She felt only cold, undisturbed sheets. She instantly sat up in bed and scanned the room for him before she remembered why he wasn’t there. The smile disappeared even though she should have been happy, it was after all the day of the Bauer BBQ and she hadn’t missed one since she returned to Springfield five years previously.

As if on cue a shortie pjs clad Hope came springing into the room, hopping from one foot to other, literally too excited to stand still. She gave up and made a dive on to the bed and gave her mother a hug. “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy,” she said bouncing up and down on the California king bed. “I love, love, LOVE today. It’s going to be such a Extra Cool Bauer BBQ this year.” Hope hugged herself with pleasure. “I can’t wait for everybody to get here….Do you think Aunt Drew will bring me a present from New York? OH! Do you think I can wear it today!”

Extra Cool was Hope’s current phrase of the moment. “I’m sure today will be Extra Cool, honey. We’ll just have to see if Aunt Drew brings you anything. In the meantime why don’t you go run and brush your teeth and put on the outfit we picked out last night. I left your new red, white, and blue playsuit on the stool by your dresser.”

“OK, Mommy!” Hope stopped bouncing long enough to reach over and give her mother a big, wet, smacky kiss on the cheek. Hope bounced off the bed, bounced out of the room, and danced down the hallway back to her room.

Michelle stood and gazed for a moment out of the window mentally and automatically running through her To Do list for the day, on days like this she missed the balcony in her own room, but Danny had hated balconies for security reasons, despite the fact that he had once used hers to very good purpose one day, he was always worried someone out to get them would use it. And she couldn’t disagree that there were people from time to time out to get them still. Danny….. She had forgotten for a moment. Why didn’t it ever get any easier to do something even if you knew it was right?

Michelle gave herself a shake and turned back to make her bed. She had recently heard some advice that you should always make your bed each day. It made you feel put together and if something bad did happen at least you were returning to a made bed. She gave Danny’s side of the bed an extra stroke smoothing it and then turned and quickly jumped in the shower and dressed. She’d already thrown what she’d need later into a bag and put her things in the car the night before. She went down the hall and stopped at Robbie’s door.

Once Robbie would have been every bit as excited about the BBQ as Hope. She remembered him racing out of the rental car five years before, but at 13 Robbie was officially a teenager now. He was prone to sleep late and if last night had been any indication he would take his extra responsibilities today very solemnly. Michelle could hear the faint beeping of an alarm clock through the closed door. Her instinct was to push right in, but she paused and knocked. They were trying to be more respectful of Robbie’s privacy now he was a teenager. No answer, so Michelle pushed in anyway. As soon as the door cracked open the noise increased exponentially (it was a very solidly built house). One of Robbie’s birthday presents last March had been a Run Away Alarm clock to help counteract this new found tendency to sleep through a tornado, but so far it hadn’t been a rousing success. The clock continued to run around the floor blaring and Robbie had merely covered his head with his pillow and ignored it.

Feeling nostalgic, Michelle shook Robbie. “Wake up, Tiger!”

“Aw, Mom do I have to?”

“It’s Bauer BBQ today.”

The reminder brought Robbie sitting upright with a jolt. “Guess I do.”

“Run grab a shower.” Michelle gave her son a loving pat as he hurried by her.

Next Michelle turned back up the hall to go into Danielle’s room. It was a beautiful room fit for her parent’s little princess. The twin canopy bed was still a new sight having taken the place of the crib. Michelle walked quietly over and kissed her daughter on the forehead, as Maureen used to do to her and Danielle’s eyes popped open. “Mommy!” she said. Michelle made short work of dressing her youngest child, the one who was the most the mix of them both and her heart gave a flutter. Her eyes automatically flew to the window where they could at long last see the hills that surrounded Laurel falls and to the sky above. Where was Danny right now?

Robansuefarm is the handle of one of Manny and Guiding Light‘s biggest fans following in her family’s footsteps of Guiding Light fandom since 1939. This blog is an effort to make it easy to find Guiding Light and especially Manny online. Check back here for her blog, find fanfic previews and fake WSPR newscasts on her YouTube, find podcasts that look back to old shows and audios of her fanfics on Blog Talk Radio, and finally follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

Bauer’s Fourth of July BBQ – Part 1 by SJ

July 2, 2014

Republisher’s Note: Although it was much more fully developed in fanfic than on the show, it was a running theme that Michelle couldn’t cook, they touch on that in this fanfic. This writer was also part of a group that often MaryJaned themselves and a small group of other fanfic writers into stories, hence the mention of Danny’s first girlfriend. She also does a real nice of job of subtle dropping in hints and jabs about the storylines current in 1999.

Author’s Note: Hey everyone, a post on Kristi’s board got me thinking about what to bring to the Bauer BBQ. Realizing that with the planned story line, Manny may not be at the BBQ this year, I decided to go ahead and write this 2 part story now. Also, I created a recipe for a cookie that even Michelle could bake. So I guess this first part of the story is also a challenge for other Manny recipes.


Bauer’s Fourth of July BBQ – Part 1 by SJ

Michelle’s Journal Entry—July 4, 1999 11:30 PM


I cannot believe another July 4 has come and gone. It is so exciting that Abby’s hearing is returning. And this BBQ was wonderful for her. Rick has been so moody lately that he didn’t even want to do this BBQ but Abby surprised him at the last minute. I think he was very happy about it. Abby wanted to have the BBQ because of family tradition and she wanted to be with her friends when she could finally hear fireworks, not just see them. I bought her some earplugs just in case the noise was too much. Abby is such a wonderful and inspiring spirit to me. I hate it that Rick does not seem to understand that she is having some bad times now along with the good. Rick is always in a bad mood lately.

Good news Journal! Aunt Meta finally helped me devise a recipe that I can actually make I was talking to her the other day about my desire to learn to cook. She told me that what I need to do when I think about cooking is think of it as a lab experiment for a Chemistry class. I told her about a cookie that Danny’s first girlfriend used to make for him and she agreed to help me come up with a recipe.

About that girlfriend, I’m not putting on my Nancy Drew cap to help find her! She’ll just have to go unfound as far as Danny is concerned. He is mine now! Danny told me about her once, they met in Puerto Rico during the summer his family lived there. They were both 14 and met at the concession stand at the San Juan baseball park. He said her name was Carla and they’d seen each other every day that summer. She loved making him these cookies which he still talks about. He said he tried to track her down again after he came into some money at age 18 but had never been able to find her.

Anyway, I played around with one of the recipes Aunt Meta gave me and I think I’ve finally hit on something good. I’ll be honest and admit to burning a few batches but I made 10 batches that turned out perfect and everyone is gobbled them up at the BBQ. I remember thinking that I had better put some aside so that the real guy can try some! So here is the recipe for my new creation, which I’m calling



Serves 8 to 10 (if you double the recipe do not put in larger pan/break batches up)/ Prep time 5 minutes/ Baking time 30 minutes (convection oven) 35 (regular oven)


22 graham crackers (use food processor or hand to process into crumbs)

½ cup of wheat germ

1 12 oz. Can of evaporated milk

3 oz. Each of butterscotch chips and chocolate chips (or use 6 oz of 1 of these)

1 ½ tsp. Of vanilla extract or use 1 tsp. of cold espresso


Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Spray a 9 by 9 inch pan with Mazola or Pam nonstick spray

Combine all of the aforementioned ingredients in a mixing bowl and pour into pre-sprayed pan. Bake in oven for around 30 minutes. Cool for 5 to 10 minutes then cut and cool on a plate. Put the Dannys in a plastic zip-lock bag and place on top of picnic basket (so they don’t get mushed) or place on plate and set out for the BBQ! This is a great no fuss, no muss recipe for kids to make too since there are no eggs and no flour to make a mess.


Options–Use ½ of walnuts or pecans, add in with rest of ingredients.

You can also substitute 6 oz of peanut butter chips for the chocolate and butterscotch chips.

If you want to make Billys use marshmallows instead of the chips.



Okay, now I have written down my first recipe! Now I need to learn to cook something a bit more substantial.

But I have no ideas.

Where was I, oh yeah, talking about the BBQ? It was around 3 PM and I was standing in the kitchen helping set out the food when I looked over to see Aunt Meta fanning Lillian while Abby waved smelling salts under her nose. Ha, Jesse again, I thought and I was right. I looked out the window and saw that he was wearing those teeny black Speedo swim trunks, again. I thought I had thrown those things out last summer. Anyway, Lillian was finally coming around and Meta was muttering that in her day, men didn’t wear those things if they didn’t fill them out properly. Lillian then laughed and said, yes, if you do not have a well packed package, make sure that the wrapping isn’t too tight. At that both women started laughing and Abby who had heard half of the conversation was just standing there looking perplexed.

Danny had told me that he wouldn’t be by until after 5 so I decided I had time for a swim and ran upstairs to put on my new tankini. I loved the suit, it was demure but functional. I tied my new pink and salmon colored batik pareo around my waist and ran back downstairs to the pool. I would have to say that the sights that awaited me were surreal.

Jesse was there in the aforementioned bathing suit with Drew in a leopard print bikini. They both looked kind of tacky if I do say so myself. Bill and Pilar were there in matching suits. Her white one piece with a diagonal red stripe matched his red trunks with a white stripe. It was kind of cute to see them trying so hard to meet each other half way. Lizzie, Marah, Susan and Tammy all had really cute little suits that seemed to range the colors of the rainbow. Max was there too and was teasing Marah much to Susan’s chagrin. Shayne was splashing around in the wading pool with the Mahler twins (who Aunt Meta had agreed to baby-sit yet again). Beth and Cassie, inexplicably had on identical suits and Jim was standing between them looking awkward as usual.

Selena and Buzz, the newlyweds, even showed. Buzz had promised Abby a lot of food from his new restaurant and they were dropping off the assorted dishes. There is still a lot of tension between Drew and Selena. Ben just came in with Blake followed by Ross and India. It is obvious they are all being a little too polite at this moment. Everyone looked happy on the surface but you could sense the stress and tension underneath everyone’s polite gossiping.

Rick is standing at the grill with Philip (Harley who just had the baby sent her regrets) and they both are laughing and drinking beer. When will someone tell Rick, a doctor BTW, that rare hamburgers are not cool anymore? I bought some veggie burgers for him to cook this year and he even served them rare, which I did not think was possible.

I had a nice swim (Bill asked the kids to help him teach Pilar how to play Marco Polo at the opposite end of the pool, so I wasn’t bothered). I was thinking about Danny again, about the 500th time that day. I’m not sure why Rick is so against our union. Abby and Meta are on our side but lately this makes Rick more determined than ever.

I resolved not to think about that and instead thought back about the night Danny and I spent together at his house. It was the night he had announced to his mother and the other so called “Springfield families” that he was going legitimate. I had waited in his room for him and when he came in and found me in his bed, well the night became a sleepless one pretty fast for both of us.

It was very special and Danny had promised to get us away from here for a real honeymoon when he took care of one more piece of business. He was working on that today and I couldn’t/still cannot wait to start on that life together. If only Danny weren’t so possessive and protective of me all the time. I talked to Aunt Meta and Abby about this too. Abby said that Rick had been like this when they were first married and his so called wild bull behavior had continued through her incarceration. She chalked it up to an intense sense of jealousy that men seem to feel when they enter into the physical nature of a relationship. Aunt Meta said pretty much the same thing but in a bit more graphic detail.

I got out of the pool and toweled off. I wrapped my pareo around my waist and looked around at everybody again. Then I heard his voice. It wasn’t his playful voice, it was the gruffly serious voice.

Michelle, what are you wearing? I want you to go and change right now. I just wink at him, but inside I’m thinking, here we go again! Then I saw him and sighed. He was wearing an off-white pair of linen slacks and a very rich looking shirt that matched the slacks. He looked a little too good. I smiled and went over to hug and kiss him but he held me away.

“Danny,” I say, “I’m not wearing anything revealing or sexy.”

“That is a matter of opinion,” he said.

I pointed out all of the other women pool-side. He didn’t care and was getting ready to tell me again, I just know it, when Cassie knocked Beth into the pool. In the process, it soaked Danny’s shirt. Cassie laughed looked at Danny and the other people that had gotten wet and said “oh, sorry” and walked away. Jesse jumped into the pool to help Beth and I turned away so as to not see him leave the pool, that suit of his, Drew please talk to him! The pool incident seemed to relax Danny a little bit and he started talking in a calmer tone. He said, “I know you are being a good host Michelle, but you can still do a good job in a long sleeved jumpsuit that zips up to your neck.”

I laughed nervously, realizing that for all intents and purposes he was being a bit playful but was also quite serious. I told him he had to get over this jealousy. Just then Bill and Pilar walked by and Pilar made a point of telling me how cute I was in my suit. Bill politely agreed and with that, Danny said, “that is it!” He then playfully pulled me into the house and down the hall. We entered my room and he slammed the door shut. Then he surprised me by kissing me very passionately. I told him that this was much better than our discussion at the pool. He stopped nuzzling my neck and told me again to change out of my sexy suit (HA) and into something more appropriate..

I looked at him and sighed. Then I said, “whatever you want Danny” and I reached up and unhooked my top.


Bauer BBQ Fanfic

June 29, 2014
Danny and Michelle, 2001

Danny and Michelle, 2001

After last year’s great contributions, I haven’t gotten a single offering for Bauer BBQ fanfic. I do have a two part Manny Bauer BBQ fanfic that I haven’t published before, but I’d love to have more.  (It’s too late if you have a story just rearing to come out or one you’ve been hesitant to send, please do.) During GLManny Bauer BBQ week I accept fanfics from anybody. The rules are:

1. It has to be set at least in a major part at a Bauer BBQ.

2. It can involve any character from Guiding Light and can be during any time period.

3. I reserve the right to edit or reject submissions.

So even if you didn’t get a piece in for this year, please start working on one for next year now while you are in the mood. Also, if you MEANT to write a fanfic and never got it done, consider doing one with a Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas theme because I also solicit fanfics about any characters for my special weeks for the holidays. And, of course, I’m always looking for new Manny specific fanfics anytime.

Robansuefarm is the handle of one of Manny and Guiding Light‘s biggest fans following in her family’s footsteps of Guiding Light fandom since 1939. This blog is an effort to make it easy to find Guiding Light and especially Manny online. Check back here for her blog, find fanfic previews and fake WSPR newscasts on her YouTube, find podcasts that look back to old shows and audios of her fanfics on Blog Talk Radio, and finally follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

The Ties That Bind by Blue Eyes Epilogue

June 27, 2014

Republisher’s Note: I am very excited to restore the full text of this fanfic to the web and I hope you enjoyed it too.

Author’s Note: Well, for better or worse, here it is…finally the end. I couldn’t end this story though without first thanking Connie and Kai. Ladies, you’ll never know how much I appreciate our friendship. I respect and admire you both more than I can say and could never thank you enough for everything! And thank you for keeping me sane!!

To all of you who took the time to read my stories, thank you for allowing me to share a little of myself. And to those of you who replied, you’ll never know how much your support and encouragement has helped me continue doing something I love to do.

Wow…I guess I should just shut up now and get to the story! :) There’s really nothing else to say but thank you from the bottom of my heart. Here’s to better days ahead…



The Ties That Bind by Blue Eyes Epilogue 

Michelle eased her shaky legs down the staircase, one step at a time, gripping the wooden banister as much as her unsteady hands would allow. She felt relief when she reached the bottom step, knowing her next step would carry her to the steady hardwood floor of the hallway leading her to her destination. Just as she was about to take that final stride, her toe stumped a rather large, metal object sitting on the floor just before her. She narrowed her eyes in the darkness at the object, as words she never wanted her children to hear from anyone, much less her, slipped from her lips. Once her eyes focused in the dim light, she saw the outline of a bright red toy fire truck. How many times had she told Justin his toys belonged in his toy box in the playroom? She sat down on one of the lower steps and began to gently rub her throbbing toe. Her anger soon subsided as the memories of the past year began to replay in her mind. There was a time not so long ago when she would have given anything under the stars to trip over one of his toys. Though she knew Justin was safe now and the threat that had been the source of his disappearance was, for the most part, gone from their lives, she still had the nightmares. Maybe a mother never got over something like that. When one of her children was in danger or in need, she knew. And she would never stop worrying about them or having that yearning to protect them at any cost.

Once the throbbing had diminished, she ungracefully pushed herself up to her feet and continued down the hall toward the living room. The soft glow from one of the table lamps greeted her as she rounded the corner. Just as she had suspected, Danny was fast asleep on the couch, the newest member of the family also sleeping soundly, nestled safely on his chest.

Madelyn Hope Santos entered their lives two weeks ago, weighing in at just under five pounds and arriving three weeks early. After spending the first twelve days of her life in the hospital, she was spending her second full night at home and had yet to spend more than ten consecutive minutes in the room her parents had lavishly furnished for her. It seemed baby Madelyn, or Maddie as her father loved to call her, would rather keep her parents awake all hours of the night.

Michelle had just come home herself from a longer than expected stay at the hospital. After a somewhat complicated pregnancy, which had landed her in the ER on two more separate occasions, she had been forced to spend the past six weeks on complete bed rest. She had suffered from a minor infection after delivering by cesarean which had Danny a nervous wreck for days before he finally accepted Dr. Sedwick’s assurance that Michelle would be fine. Then two days ago, both mother and daughter were given a clean bill of health and sent home to be cared for by their loving father and husband. Michelle was still moving around a bit slower than usual and Danny had been in his usual overprotective mode, insisting she stay in bed as much as their youngest daughter would allow her. After getting up with her just over two hours ago, she must have slept right through her latest cries. Gingerly touching her sore breasts, she knew it was almost time for her eat again and despite Danny’s proclamations that he could handle everything himself, that was one area where he couldn’t help.

She eased herself down carefully, one leg at a time, to kneel beside two of the most precious people in her life. Her eyes first focused on her daughter’s button nose then down to her small pouty lips which were parted slightly as she slept. Danny had told her from the day she was born that Madelyn’s nose and lips looked like tiny replicas of her own. But her dark hair and olive skin were most definitely inherited from her father. Rachel may look just like Michelle and Justin looked just like Danny, but this little one, she was a perfect mixture of them both. And after having survived the hardest year of their lives together, she wouldn’t have it any other way. She was their reward for everything they had endured, everything they had suffered. She was their miracle.

When her fingers began to run through his soft curls, Danny began to stir, his eyes parting enough to see his wife’s smiling face. “What are you doing up?” his voice thick with sleep. “Why aren’t you in bed?”

“I woke up and found you gone. I figured you would be down here with her,” she smiled, resting a hand on her daughter’s tiny back.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, trying to clear the grogginess from his voice. “She finally quieted down and I guess I just dozed off. I’ll take her back upstairs to her cradle. Why don’t you go crawl back into bed?”

“I’m okay,” she sighed. “Besides, it’s almost time for her to eat again.”

“Already?” he frowned, his eyes straining to see the clock on the fireplace mantle. “What time is it?”

“About 11:45, I think,” she responded.

“Man,” he groaned, rubbing fiercely at his tired eyes. “We’ve only been down here for about an hour.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t hear her crying.”

“You’re exhausted, honey,” he stroked her cheek with one hand, while the other protectively held their baby girl.

“Well Madelyn needs her mommy to stay awake right now,” she managed a tired smile. “I’ll go back to bed after she eats.”

He felt his baby begin to stir against his chest and he looked down to see her wrinkled face, knowing her cries were about to begin. “Well, Maddie, must have heard her mommy’s voice.”

“Madelyn.” Michelle corrected with a playful grin.

“Maddie.” He laughed before the cries began to fill the room. “As much as I would love to be able to help here, I think this is your department.”

“What? You mean to tell me theres finally something you admit to not being able to do?” she playfully slapped his chest as she moved her hands to pick up her crying daughter from his chest. “Come here, my baby girl. Mama’s here.”

“Yes, I am a humble man,” a cocky grin covered his face as he helped ease his daughter from his chest. “I admit there are some things God just didn’t intend for men to be able to do. Michelle began to laugh as she tried to stand, but stopped short with a grimace. Danny’s smile quickly faded as his heart skipped a beat. “Slow down, Michelle. Here, take it easy.” He jumped to his feet and put a firm arm around her waist as he helped her stand. “You want to sit on the couch or in the rocking chair?”

“The couch is too hard to get up from,” she frowned. “I’ll just sit in the rocking chair.”

“Are you still hurting a lot?”

She rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head as she began to adjust her daughter against her body. “Danny, didn’t you hear Dr. Sedwick give me a clean bill of health?”

“That’s not what I asked.” He let out a frustrated sigh as he watched his wife giving his daughter the nourishment her little body needed.”

“Danny, I’m fine,” she looked up at him lovingly. “It’s only natural to be a little sore after a cesarean. It’s just going to take a little time for me to get back to normal. Don’t worry so much.”

“I’ll always worry about you, all of you.” He moved to straddle the ottoman sitting just in front of her chair as he continued to keep his eyes trained on his daughter.

“Guess I can’t stop you,” she smiled. “But we’re going to be fine,” I promise. She watched him as his gaze continued to stare at her and the baby. He looked as if he were in a hypnotic trance. “Hey. It’s not polite to stare, bud,” she giggled.

“Huh? What?” his eyes clouded in confusion as her voice snapped him from his trance. “I’m sorry. I just…”

“It’s okay,” she tried to suppress further laughter when she saw his cheeks stain a dark crimson.

“It’s just so amazing…”

“What’s that?”

“You,” he looked at her with a look of wonderment on his face. “I don’t think you’ve ever looked more beautiful than you do at this very moment.”

“What?” she frowned, running a hand through her tangled curls. She groaned when she felt the loose, frizzy stands that had fallen free from the ponytail she was trying in vain to keep her hair out of her face. “Danny, I look a mess.”

“You look beautiful.”

“I’m a mess.”

“You…are…beautiful,” he repeated, emphasizing each word. “Don’t ever doubt how beautiful you are.”

“You like my hair again, don’t you?” she teased as she shifted Maddie in her arms.

“I’ve always loved your hair,” his eyes danced playfully. “However you’ve had it.”

“Yeah, but you love it more now that the blond is back and it’s getting long again,” she frowned as she fingered the ends of her hair, realizing she was long overdue for a trim. “Getting too long actually.”

“You’re my Goldilocks again,” he grinned, resting his hands on her knees.

“I don’t think Rachel is ready to surrender that title,” she laughed.

“Well you both can be my Goldilocks.” His hands inched their way slowly up her legs to rest on her thighs, leaning up to whisper in her ear. “You’re just the sexy one.”

Her body involuntarily shuddered as his breath tickled the hairs on her neck. “Ststop,” she finally found the strength to muster a word. Shaking her head, she pushed at his hands. “I sure don’t feel very sexy right now.”

“Oh, believe me,” his laugh seductive. “You are most definitely sexy right now. You always are.”

“You sure the kids are okay with Rick and Abby?” she sighed, eager to change the subject.

Catching the not so subtle frustration in her tone, he decided to leave well enough alone for now. “Yes, sweetie. I’m sure they’re fine. They were excited to get to spend a few days with their Aunt Abby and Uncle Rick. Of course, you know they’re getting spoiled rotten over there.”

“Rick and Abby really are lifesavers for letting them stay there for a few days. I don’t think I could have handled them and the baby.” She placed her daughter carefully over her shoulder, patting her back gently. “I miss them though.”

“They’ll be home tomorrow night,” he rubbed her legs with his hands. “I think they’re both anxious to spend some time with their new baby sister.”

“I was kind of worried about Justin,” Michelle sighed. “He was the center of attention for months and I wasn’t sure how he would adjust when the baby was born.”

“I thought about that too. I know my mother always told me how Mick was jealous when they first brought me home from the hospital, but he…” Danny stopped short when he realized where his conversation had led and feeling contrite, tried to drop his hands from her legs.

Before he could move away, Michelle reached down and grabbed one of his hands, clutching it tightly as their fingers instinctively interlaced. “Honey, don’t be sorry. You don’t ever have to be sorry for talking about Mick. He’s your brother, Danny. He always will be.”

“I just don’t even want to think about him being a part of our lives until I know for sure he is going to follow through with everything he said he would.”

“So he and your mother still plan to turn over all of the illegal business to the other families?”

“That’s what they tell me,” he sighed.

“I hope they’re serious,” she shook her head slowly. “I really hope they are.”

“Well, if they aren’t, then there is no place for them in our lives. We aren’t going to live in fear anymore. I am not going to raise my children in the kind of life I had to endure as a child. They deserve more, you deserve more. And I’m going to make sure I give it to all of you.”

His eyes were so full of love and devotion, it brought tears to her eyes. She placed her hand against his face, cradling his cheek against her palm. “You’ve given us everything we ever could ask for. You’re a wonderful man, Daniel Santos. Don’t ever doubt that.”

He pressed a kiss to her palm and dropped to his knees beside her, reaching up to caress her face. “And you’re a wonderful woman, Michelle Bauer Santos. You’re a wonderful wife and mother and my very best friend.”

“Okay, we really have to stop this,” she wiped at the tears streaming down her face.

“Emotions still all over the place, huh?” he laughed through his own tears.

“Yes,” she smiled shyly. “At least Pilar understands what I’m going through. I think Bill is running out of patience dealing with her crying spells, though.”

“Well, my little sister has always been over emotional,” he laughed. “She’s always cried at the drop of a hat. And now that Isabella is here, well I’m sure it’s only gotten worse.”

“I can’t believe she’s almost a month old and I’ve barely seen her,” she sighed, resting her head against the back of the chair as she inhaled the sweet fragrance of her baby’s soft skin.

“You’ve been just a little busy, sweetie.”

“I know, but she’s my sister-in-law’s and childhood friend’s first baby. I want to spend some time with her and let her and Maddie be together as well,” she turned her around to cradle her against her chest.

“Maddie?” he looked at her playfully.

“Okay, okay,” she smiled. “What can I say? You’re rubbing off on me. Now, I think your daughter has finally drifted off to sleep,” she whispered. “We really should take advantage of this reprieve and get some sleep ourselves.”

“Why don’t you go lay her down and come back down here?” a devilish grin on his face.

“Why?” she quizzed.

“Just go lay her down,” he repeated with a smile.

“Okay,” her eyebrows arched in confusion and wonderment of what he was up to. “You want to kiss your daughter goodnight?”

He helped Michelle stand to her feet, steadying her with his hands as he leaned in closer to his daughter. Placing a tender kiss to her forehead, he whispered. “Goodnight my baby girl. See you in about an hour.”

“Sshh!” Michelle frowned. “Don’t jinx it.”

She heard him laughing quietly as she made her way slowly back up the stairs, clutching Maddie tightly against her body. As she made her way down the quiet hallway toward her room, she couldn’t help but feel a wave of emptiness sweep through her. She was used to hearing the laughter and even the fighting between Rachel and Justin and despite the joy this new little one brought her, she missed having all of her children with her. It would be a blessing to finally have her family, her entire family, all under the same roof.

Gently, she laid Maddie down into the small wooden cradle that sat beside her side of hers and Danny’s bed. She remembered wistfully the day Danny came home so excited because he had found this cradle, a family heirloom dating from the early 1900s. The very cradle, his grandfather, his father and he, Mick and Pilar had all slept in and his grandmother had wanted him to use for his first child. Abuela had passed away shortly before they found out Michelle was pregnant with Rachel and no one knew for sure where the cradle had been stored. Then, about three months before Maddie was born, Carmen had called to tell him his uncle had called and told her he had been storing it the attic of his house in California. Danny had felt guilty at first for taking it, knowing that Pilar may have wanted it for her first baby. But Pilar knew the special relationship Danny had had with their grandmother and there was no way she would deny him the right to have his little girl, the last newborn child he would ever have, sleep in this cradle. Having a Santos family heirloom in her house wasn’t exactly something Michelle was prepared for, but with one look at the pure joy on Danny’s face whenever he looked at it, she had no qualms about letting her daughter sleep there. Their children were going to grow up proud of their name. Their father had made sure of that.

Pulling the soft pink blanket over Maddie’s back, Michelle knelt to the floor and lowered her lips to press a gentle kiss to her daughters soft head. Closing her eyes, she offered up the same prayer she had recited every single day for the past eight years and especially over the past fourteen days.

“Thank you dear, gracious Father, for this miracle,this precious gift You have blessed us with. Thank you for all four of the miracles in my life. Please watch over my babies, all three of them, keep them safe and let them always know they are loved. And thank you for the love of my life, my soulmate, my best friend. Help him keep the peace You have bestowed on him and never let him doubt he is a good man and deserves the life You have blessed him with. And help me be the wife he is worthy of and the mother my children deserve. Amen.”

Placing one more tender kiss to her slumbering daughter’s cheek, she pushed herself to her feet, wiping the tears from her eyes she began to retrace her footsteps back down the stairs that would lead her to her husband. As she rounded the corner into the living room, her chest constricted almost painfully as the breath left her body. Her eyes scanned the dimly lit room at the dozens of candles that glowed from almost every inch of the room, the flickering flames sending shadows dancing across her face. She couldn’t have imagined this room looking any more beautiful than it did at this very moment in time, but then he appeared and she was proven wrong. Standing in the adjacent doorway, with a single long-stem red rose in his hands, was the man of her dreams, the man who had made every single dream she had ever had come true.

“Wh..what…” her voice eluded her as she followed every step he took, closing the distance between them.

“It’s after midnight,” he smiled as he held the rose out before her. He bowed his head toward her ear as he placed several warm kisses along her jaw until he reached her ear, his breath vibrating against her ear, sending shock waves through her body. “Happy birthday baby.”

“Birth…birthday?” As his arms tightened around her waist, drawing her to him, she was finding it even more difficult to complete a word, much less a complete sentence.

“Your birthday. You didn’t think I would forget, did you?”

“I almost forgot,” she smiled. “I can’t believe this,” her eyes darted from the flickering candles back to his handsome face. “I can’t believe you.”

“Well, this is just the first of things to come,” he smiled. “I have to make my sweetheart’s birthday memorable.”

“You make every day memorable.” Her fingers tenderly stroked his face as he began to pull back, walking backwards across the room while holding her hand as long as possible. “Wait, where are you going?”

“Patience, my dear.” His seductive smile nearly turned her legs to complete jelly, as their fingers finally slid from each others grasp.

She watched as he turned his back to her slightly toward the elaborate stereo system he had insisted on buying last Christmas. The music that stereo had seen thus far hadn’t extended beyond some boy band Rachel loved to listen to or a Barney song they still had not shook Justin from. But as the first strains of the music began, she realized this wasn’t a boy band and it most definitely wasn’t a Barney song. Danny’s seductive eyes, now filled with even more love and passion, found their way back to hers. He crossed the room making his way back to her as he extended his hand to her. “The first of your birthday presents, my lady. Would you do me the honor of this dance?”

Without breaking the spell his eyes held over her, she nodded slowly and placed her hand in his. As he pulled her close, their bodies molding together as if they were made for each other as they swayed to the music, any thought she had of not being beautiful or sexy or being too flabby after giving birth to her third child, it was all gone. His hands gliding up and down her spine, his lips feathering tender kisses to her neck, in his arms she felt like the most beautiful woman in the world, he always made her feel beautiful.

I don’t know how I survived
In this cold and empty world for all this time
I only know that I’m alive
Because you love me

When I recall what I’ve been through
There’s some things that I wish I didn’t do
Now I do the things I do
Because you love me

As his lips found their way to hers, he paused, their faces mere centimeters apart as he looked into her eyes. “Do you know how much I want to take you upstairs right now and just make love to you all night long?”

“I’m sorry,” her voice disheartened and remorseful as their forehead touched. “I know it’s been a long time, what with all the problems before Maddie was born and now…”

“Ssshh!” he silenced her with his finger on her lips. “I know we have to wait. And your health comes first and foremost before anything else. I want you to be completely well. I just miss you.”

“I promise it won’t be much longer before…”

This time it was his lips that silenced her. Leaving them both breathless, he managed a soft whisper. “No more talking.”

And now that you’re in my life
(Oh) I’m so glad I’m alive
‘Cause you showed me the way
And I know now how good it can be
Because you love me

I believe in things unseen
I believe in the message of a dream
And I believe in what you are
Because you love me

He continued to re-familiarize himself with her body, his hands journeying down her back, up to gently massage her shoulders before gliding up her sides. His fingers sliding the strap of her cotton nightgown down her shoulder to expose the upper swells of her breasts. He removed his lips from hers and bowing his head, trailed delicate kisses down her throat until they reached their destination. She lost herself in the hypnotic trance he held over her, reveling in the pleasure he was giving her as he touched places that his lips hadn’t touched in a long time too long. Letting out a frustrated groan when his lips stopped the magnificent work they were doing, her frustration only lasted a millisecond as those very same lips began an assault on her lips that literally caused her knees to buckle. He tightened his arm around her waist, holding her even closer as he broke the kiss, leaving them both breathless. She looked up at him with lustful eyes to see him smiling slightly in triumph, he knowing the power he held over her. Returning the favor, she cradled his neck in her hand and forced his lips to come crashing down on hers. Their tongues dancing the familiar rhythm they both knew so well before she broke their kiss. This time she was the one smiling in triumph as his chocolate eyes had turned to onyx pools, darkened with desire. Enjoying this game, he knew it was now his turn again. He lowered his head, his teeth tugging fiercely at her earlobe causing a low groan to escape from deep within her. She held onto his arms for support as his lips rested against her ear, his voice softly singing the last few words of the song as it came to a conclusion.

With all my heart, and all my soul, I’m lovin’ you and I never will let go. And every day I let it show, because you love me because you love me.

Cradling her face between his hands, he looked deep into her eyes. “I love you, Michelle.With all my heart and will all my soul.”

Feeling the tears pricking the backs of her eyes, she stared back into the eyes she loved so much, the eyes of the man she loved more than her life. “I will always love you Daniel Santos. You have my heart forever.”

He swept her off her feet, cradling her in his arms and he moved to carry her up the stairs. “I know we can’t make love, but I just want to hold you close tonight.”

Smiling at him with complete and utter adoration, she slowly nodded her head. “Is this the happy ending you’ve always promised me?”

“No,” his own eyes glistening with tears. “This is only the beginning.”

Song: “Because You Love Me” by Jo Dee Messina (John Scott Sherrill/Kostas)

Ties That Bind by Blue Eyes Chapter 30

June 26, 2014
Republisher’s Note: While Danny has been out of touch there have been problems brewing at the Santos house.

Ties That Bind by Blue Eyes – Chapter 30

Sitting in his parked car in the safety of his darkened garage, Danny thought back over the events of the night. Tonight had carried him from one end of the spectrum to the other with his emotions ranging from fear and hopelessness to peace and confidence. Resting his head against the back of the leather seat, he began to remember how he had left the house just that morning. He regretted talking to Michelle the way he had and for leaving before they had a chance to work things out. She didn’t need this kind of stress right now. His heart sunk when he recalled the look on her face right before he turned his back on her. She was so tired and he knew, worried about him. She had been carrying around her own burdens and this pregnancy, she was bearing it all herself and she didn’t need that. Despite his newfound peace with the past, the future still created a sense of dread to creep into the pit of his stomach. There were still so many things that could go wrong and the thought of any of those events coming to fruition scared the hell out of him. But he had to put those fears aside as much as his mind would allow him. For as much as his fear plagued him, his love for Michelle was greater. She needed him and for the first time in months, he was going to make sure he was there for her. Making his way across the smooth stone pathway, he slowly opened the locked front door of his house, his eyes trying in vain to adjust to the sudden brightness that greeted him. The faint sound of the television could be heard from the living room as he threw his keys down on the hallway table. Glancing at the elaborate grandfather clock in the corner of the hall, he was surprised to see the time. He hadn’t realized the hour was so late, but it didn’t surprise him that Michelle was still up. Anytime they had a fight, she would always crash on the living room couch watching reruns of old TV shows until he came to find her and they would talk things out. So she was waiting for him again. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his unsteady nerves, mentally preparing himself for what lie ahead. It wasn’t going to be easy to talk to her about Mick, about everything he’d been feeling, but he had to. He owed her that much and more. Convincing himself he was ready for this, he made his way into the living room, stopping short when he saw Rick standing in front of the couch with his arms crossed against his chest, glaring angrily at him. “Rick?””Where the hell have you been?” he snapped, taking quick strides toward him.Taken back by the venom in his voice, he looked at him incredulously. “I was at my cousin’s church. What are you…””Doing here?” he cut him off. “I’m here because my sister needed someone tonight and she sure as hell didn’t have you here to help her.””Help her?” His heart began to thump painfully against the wall of his chest as one awful scenario after another played through his mind. “What happened? Where’s Michelle?”

“I just spent the better part of the night in the emergency room, holding my little sister in my arms as she cried for the only person she wanted, the only person she needed, and the one person who wasn’t there for her!”

“Damn it, Rick!” Danny shouted, fear overtaking him. “What happened? Is Michelle okay?”

“She was having some cramps,” Rick lowered his voice, the anger still coating his words. “She was terrified she was losing her baby, your baby, and she had to call me to take her to the hospital because you were God only knows where.”

“Oh my God.” He felt the air leaving his chest as he stumbled backward, the wall catching him before he could descend any further. “Did she…I mean is she…”

“She’s fine now,” Rick finally softened his voice. “She didn’t lose the baby. Dr. Sedwick said she needs to stay off her feet for awhile and get some rest and no stress. Her blood pressure is still high, so no stress at all.”

“What do you mean still high?”

Rick laughed humorlessly, shaking his head. “Why does it not surprise me you didn’t know. Michelle has had high blood pressure for weeks now, probably because shes been having to deal with all the crap you and your family have been putting her through!”

“I…I didn’t know,” Danny stumbled over his words. “She didn’t tell me.”

“She shouldn’t have had to tell you,” Rick shouted. “Danny, have you even looked at your wife lately? I mean really look at her? She’s exhausted, she’s physically and emotionally exhausted. She’s worried about her baby, she worried about Rachel and Justin and she’s even worried about you. And all this time shes been carrying around this guilt that she is somehow responsible for Dr. Grant’s death.” Danny’s head snapped up and looked at Rick with confused eyes. “It surprises you that she feels guilty about that? She’s known Dr. Grant since she was a little girl, Danny. She thinks that if he hadn’t known her, he wouldn’t have gotten caught up with your family and he would be alive right now.”

“But that’s cr….” he shook his head.

“Crazy?” Rick interrupted him. “Yeah, Danny it is crazy. Charles Grant had his own agenda that none of us knew about. He fooled us all, even me. I know that and you know that, but Michelle is having some difficulty accepting that. If you had paid any attention to her of late, you would know that.”

“I’m sorry.” Danny ran his hands through his curls, squeezing his throbbing head between his palms. “I should have…I should have done something.”

“Yeah, you should have,” Rick snapped. “But you can’t change that now.”

“Yes I can,” he nodded. “I can.” He took an unsteady breath as Rick’s weary eyes pierced through him. “Is she upstairs?”

“Yes,” Rick spun around to retrieve his coat from the adjacent chair. “She tried to wait up for you, but she was exhausted. Pilar stayed with the kids while we were at the hospital and she tried to get them to go home with her when we got back, but neither one of them would leave their mother. I checked on all three of them a little while ago and theyre all sleeping soundly.” He thrust his arms forcefully into the arms of his coat, his shoulder brushing forcefully against Danny’s as he past by him. Pausing in the hallway, he turned back around. “I tried calling you for hours. You better have a damn good reason when you explain to my little sister why you weren’t here for her tonight.”

“I know,” he whispered, bowing his head. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not the one who needs to hear this.”

“I’ll take care of her Rick, I promise,” Danny eased his body away from the wall as he turned to face his brother-in-law’s retreating form.

“You better,” he twisted the door handle in his hands, opening the door to step into the cool darkness as he gave Danny one final warning with his eyes.

Watching the door close firmly behind him, Danny took a slow deep breath to steady his quivering stomach before he hopped up the steps two at a time. He walked down the length of the darkened hallway, carefully stepping against the hardwood floor. Upon reaching their bedroom, he eased the door open to reveal a room clothed in darkness, the only illumination coming from the faint light of the moon shining through the slits of the thin window blinds. He carefully moved his body closer to the bed and his eyes having adjusted to the darkness, saw the sheet clad form of his wife who was curled up on her side. The sheet had dropped to below her waist and the old Springfield University t-shirt she loved to wear so much had inched its way up to reveal her rounded belly. His eyes fixated on the smooth skin where just below his child lay, their child, their miracle. Despite what his actions and words, or lack of words, may have presented over the past several weeks, he was already so in love with this child. Just the thought of never seeing his or her face was more than he could bear. He had been denying it, but he knew that was another reason why he had shut himself down from feeling anything. In his foolish mind he had convinced himself that if he didn’t let himself grow too attached to this baby then it wouldn’t hurt as much if something happened. And if he allowed himself to think about this child, he would be forced to remember what could happen, what did happen. He realized now that was impossible, it would kill him if anything happened to either one of them and he would never forget what had happened. That time in his life was a part of him now and it would never be too far out of his mind. While trying to protect himself from the harsh reality in front of him, all he had really accomplished was hurt the woman he loved more than his own life.

As he carefully dropped to his knees beside the bed, his fingers instinctively began to stroke the taut skin of her abdomen as his eyes traveled up her body to focus on her face. Even in the pale glow of the moon, he could make out the dried track marks on her face where her tears had left their mark. Feeling the knife piercing through his heart, he hated himself for being the cause of even an ounce of her heartache. He could only guess how terrified she had been tonight, thinking she was losing their child, wanting him there with her. How many times had he promised her he would always be there for her when she needed him? And how many times had he already broken that promise? He made a silent oath to himself that that was one promise he would never break again.

In the luminescence filling the room, she looked like an angel, her radiant skin, her soft, glimmering hair which was slowly regaining its curls with its length, she was the essence of a heavenly being. Hadn’t Ray always told him that God sometimes sent people angels when they were in need? God had to have known how much he needed her and somehow in His perfect timing, He had sent her into his life just when he needed her the most. And with each passing day, he had only needed her more. She was a precious gifthis precious gift from God.

His body yearning to touch her more closely, his fingers began a slow caress against the softness of her face. Coming to a rest on her cheek, she began to stir beneath his touch. When her eyes parted, he saw the fear and pain, but he also saw love love for him. With one look the pangs of guilt washed over him and he once again admonished himself for his absence tonight. She had needed him and he wasn’t there for her and that was something he would never forgive himself for. But she needed him now and this time he wouldn’t let her down.

“Hey,” she whispered, her tongue extending to wet her dry lips.

“How are you?” his voice full of worry as he examined her eyes for his answer. “How do you feel? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she nodded slowly, her eyes never leaving his. “I’m okay, we’re okay.”

“Are you sure?” his quivered voice pleaded as his eyes danced all around, looking anywhere except at her. “I mean did Dr. Sedwick say anything else? Did she think this had anything to do with…”

“Danny, look at me,” she interrupted him. She braced his face between her hands like she’d done so many times in their years together when he wouldn’t look her in the eye. “Honey, what happened tonight had nothing to do with what happened with Justin, okay?” Dropping her hands when his teary eyes finally met hers, she quietly shook her head. “It was my fault anyway.” He began to protest, telling her she was wrong, but she continued. “Yes, it was my fault. I should have been taking better care of myself. I knew my blood pressure was high and with the stress of the past few monthsI just should have handled it better. And I should have gone to Margaret as soon as I had that first pain weeks ago.”

“What?” His body recoiled from her touch as a mixture of shock and fear clouded over his face. “You had pains before today and you never told me? Why didn’t you tell me?”

She watched him closely as his shock quickly turned into a pained expression of hurt. Why was it that was all they seemed to be doing lately, hurting each other? “You had so much going on. You had just come home from the hospital and I knew you were dealing with a lot of things. I didn’t want to add to your worries.”

“You should have told me,” his wounded voice trailed off as he stood to his feet, turning his back to her. “I could have done something. You should have told me.” Peering around the window blinds, he stood there as the silence between them grew.

“How could I?” her rising voice suddenly broke through the cold silence. She pressed her palms against the firm mattress, propelling her body into a sitting position as she reclined against the solid oak headboard. “You were shutting down and shutting me out of your life. I didn’t know how to say anything to you, much less something like this.”

“I had a right to know! “his angry tone matching hers.

“Well, maybe you did,” she snapped, quickly switching on the bedside lamp. “But you weren’t making it very easy for me to be open with you!”

“Shhshh,” he quickly crossed the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed as he reached for her hands. She tried to pull away from him, but he tightened his already firm grip. “You don’t need to get upset. I’m sorry, you’re right. You are absolutely right. I didn’t make things easy for you. Now please, just try to relax and take it easy.”

“Danny, we have to talk this out,” she quietly pleaded. Her rollercoaster of emotions swept downhill and the tears instantly filled her weary eyes.

“I know,” he nodded reluctantly. “And we will. But I have to know you’re okay. Please tell me you both really are okay now.”

“We are,” she affirmed as the tears spilled down her reddened cheeks. “It scared me though.”

“I know,” he bowed his head as his lips rained kisses over her hands. “I’m so sorry.”

“Where were you?” she began with a hint of accusation in her voice. “Rick and I both tried calling you for hours.”

“I was with Ray,” he admitted feebly. “We were at St. Michael’s talking and I guess time just got away from me. I’m not even sure where my cell phone is. It’s been so long since I’ve been out of the house alone, I don’t even remember the last time I had it. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

“Its okay,” she lifted his chin with her free hand. “We’re okay now.”

“No, it’s not okay. I should have been here. If something had happened…” He choked on the words he had been afraid to give voice to. “I’d never forgiven myself.”

“Stop it,” she scolded him. “Quit blaming yourself for this…for everything. We both have to find a way to get past everything that has happened over these past few months.”

“Years,” he corrected her with a heavy sigh.

“What happened tonight with Ray?”

The determination and strength of peace he had found earlier that night vanished the moment Rick told him what had happened. And the instant he looked into the beautiful brown eyes of his wife, his mind once again reminded him of everything he could have lost,everything he could still lose. Nothing else mattered anymore. God had given him a precious gift and he wasn’t about to do anything to lose it again. He would protect his family at all costs, even if it meant protecting them from the demons he battled inside him.

“Talk to me, please,” her voice breaking with her plea.

“I…” he buried his face into the mattress beside her. “I don’t think I can.”

“Danny, please,” her tears once again spilling down her cheeks as she gently rubbed her hand through his curls. “Honey, I love you so much, you know that. Whatever it is you’re going through, I want to help you get through it. Let me help you.”

“Do you know how much I love you?” he suddenly blurted out, raising his head as their teary eyes met.

She let out a heavy sigh as she moved her hand to cover his that had moved to lay protectively over their child. “I know, Danny. I know you love me.”

“No,” he shook his head as his free hand reached up to cradle her tear soaked cheek, his thumbing brushing at a stray tear. “I don’t know if you really understand.” He paused, staring into her eyes. Even through the tears, he could see the love he needed so much to feel radiating from her eyes. “I look at you and I see every hope and every dream I have ever had. I can’t remember not loving you. I can’t even remember what my life was like before you and I can’t imagine living my life without you.”

“You’re never going to have to…”

“You know it scares me,” he continued, their words overlapping. “It scares me sometimes how much I love you.”

“It scares you?” she questioned, a hint of fear in her voice. “Why does it scare you?”

“I’m not sure,” he answered honestly, his fingers drawing gentle circles on her bare stomach as his eyes followed their path. “I just know after my father died, everything changed for me. I was being told you had to keep a tight reign on your emotions. You could not allow yourself to feel too much, too much anger, too much hatred, too much love. You had to make sure you were always in control of every situation or someone would expose your weakness and go in for the kill. My mother told me that’s what happened to my father, that’s what killed him. And from that moment on, I operated that way, until…until I met you.”

“So you regret meeting me?” her teeth tugging at her quivering lower lip.

“No, no, no,” he answered quickly, looking up to meet her gaze. “Baby, I will never regret one second of my life with you. I just…just the thought of losing you or even the kids for that matter, scares the hell out of me.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” her eyes softened as her fingers tenderly stroked his face. “Or the kids. We’re not going anywhere.”

“You don’t know that,” his voice trembled. “Michelle, look at everything that has happened in just this past year. I couldn’t even protect my son or you from my own brother. I swore to you that night on the dock I would protect you and I swore the same thing when we brought each of our children into this world. It’s my job to protect all three,” he paused, looking down at their joined hands on her abdomen. :”All four of you. And what if I can’t? What if I let something or someone else come into our lives and one of you gets hurt?”

“Danny,” she extricated her hand from his grip and placed both of her hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look in her eyes again. “You didn’t let any of this happen. None of this happened because of something you did or didn’t do. You cannot let yourself feel guilty about this. You are the most remarkable man I have ever known, the most wonderful husband and the most amazing father I could ever ask for my children.”

“I bet you never imagined your husband, the father of your children coming from a family of killers.”

“Don’t do this, Danny. You are not your family. And you are not responsible for what happened to Dr. Grant.”

“Neither are you,” he responded as she dropped her gaze to her lap, pulling her hands away from him. “Honey, you don’t want me to feel responsible, but you have to do the same thing.” As quickly as it had disappeared, he felt that sense of peace, that same feeling he felt when he walked out the door of the church just over an hour ago, wash over him again. With her by his side, feeling her love in the strength of her touch and the outpouring devotion from her eyes, he felt the quiet determination and the vigor of that peace returning. His voice growing stronger, he continued. “We were just players in a game that we didn’t even know was being played. We were both used by people we wanted to believe cared enough about us to not hurt us. People we, to some extent, trusted. If there is any fault we can lay on ourselves, it was being too trusting. But if we lose that, what’s left? What kind of people will we become? What kind of life is that to give to our children?”

The corners of her mouth lifted slightly as her teary eyes stared at the incredible man before her. She was still bewildered by the fact that she seemed to fall a little more in love with him every day, just when she didn’t think it was possible to love him more. “So did all this profound wisdom come from Ray?”

“And Mick.”

“Mick?” her eyebrows arched curiously. “You saw Mick? He’s back in town?”

“He’s staying with Ray at the church for a little while until he can get some things straightened out…”

“Danny, he can’t come back here,” panic filled her voice. “I’m sorry, but…”

“It’s okay,” he gave her hand a comforting squeeze, trying to calm her. “He’s not coming back here. I don’t know if he ever will again. But he is dealing with what he’s done and he realizes he has to make a change in his life. Not for me or our mother or even for God. He has to do this for himself. I really think he may be turning over a new leaf this time. And I’ve seen my mother turning away a little more every day, so who knows? Maybe she’ll follow suit.”

“They would both just walk away from that life?” she questioned unbelievingly. “Just like that?”

“No,” he shook his head. “It won’t be just like that. They’ll have the other families to deal with so it’s going to take some time. But if they really want to do this, they can. There’s a way, there’s always a way.”

“Well, I hope you’re right,” she sighed. “For our children’s sake and for yours. You seem to be a little more at peace with things.”

“I am,” he brushed a stray hair behind her ear. “When I walked out the door of St. Michael’s tonight, I felt free. Free from the burdens of my past. Free from guilt. But it all vanished when I walked in our front door and saw Rick here. I was so scared, Michelle. I don’t know what I would do…”

“Ssh,” her lips silenced him with a tender kiss. “Let’s not worry about what ifs anymore. Its time we focus on each moment as it happens and promise each other that no matter what the future holds for us, we will deal with it together. No more hiding behind walls and shutting each other out from what were feeling for better or worse, remember?”

“For better or worse,” he whispered against her lips as her arms draped around his neck. “I promise.”

“I promise too,” she moved her lips closer for another kiss, this one softer but more sensuous.

“You need to rest.” To her disappointment, he broke their kiss and pulled away from her as he stood to his feet. He pulled the covers back up over her body, wrapping the thick quilt tightly around her.

As he turned his back to her, she pulled on his hand, jerking him back down on the bed toward her. “And just where do you think you’re going?”

Never allowing their intertwined hands to lose contact, he curled his toes around the edge of his shoes to pry them off his feet, kicking them aimlessly across the room. His free hand reached forward, turning the switch between his fingers as he extinguished the bright light before crawling into the bed beside her. Wrapping his arms around their baby, he drew her body to him, whispering in her ear. “I’m not going anywhere. Never again. I promise.”

Sighing contently, both their bodies began to relax in the comfort and safety of each others arms as they began to drift off to slumber. Just as sleep was about to descend over them both, they heard a soft knock at the door.


Michelle bolted upright, shaking the fuzziness from her head as her little boy’s voice registered in her mind. “Justin? Sweetie, open the door.”

The creaking door opened to a crack and then flew open as Justin ran across the cold floor and into his mother’s arms.

“What is it baby? What happened?”

“I had bad dweam.” Fat tears rolled down his chubby cheeks and he clung to his mother’s neck. “Me sweep with you.”

“It’s okay, baby,” she rubbed comforting circles on his small back. “You crawl up here beside Mommy.”

“Justin, buddy,” Danny interjected, reaching for his son. “Why don’t you sleep over here with me?”

“No,” he recoiled from his father’s touch. “I sweep with Mommy!”

“It’s okay,” Michelle carefully shifted her body to allow her little boy to settle in beside her. “He’ll be okay right here.”

“Sweetie, you need your rest and you know how restless this one sleeps,” his eyes narrowed in concern.”He can sleep on the other side of me and that will keep him from kicking you all night.”

“Look,” she nodded toward their son. “He’s already asleep. It’s okay, really. I don’t think he got much sleep tonight before I got back home. I’m sure he’ll be out like a light all night.”

“With Buddy Bear, of course,” Danny smiled as he looked at the raggedy bear clutched tightly in his son’s arms.

“Of course,” Michelle laughed softly. “Now, you get some sleep too.”

Danny leaned over to give a brief kiss to her lips before turning on his side, snuggling under the covers. Before either of them could get comfortable enough to fall asleep, there was another soft knock on their door.

“Mommy? Daddy?”

“Rachel,” Danny sighed, looking at the door to find his daughter entering their room. “What are you doing up?”

“I heard voices in here and I wanted to make sure Mommy and the baby were okay,” she admitted sheepishly, wrapping her arms tighter around her Betsy doll she held in her arms.

“We’re okay angel,” Michelle tried to reassure her. “I’m feeling much better now.”

“Why’s Justin in here?”

“He had a bad dream and he wanted to stay with us,” Michelle explained, eyeing her daughters fingers fidgeting with the buttons on Betsy’s dress. “You want to sleep with us too?”

“Okay,” her face lit with a smile as she bounced up on the bed, snuggling up against her father.

“It’s a good thing we have a big bed,” Danny shook his head in amusement. “I don’t think we could fit another body, human or stuffed, in this bed.”

Michelle laid her hand against his cheek as their children rested contently between them. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

He turned his lips into her hand, raining kisses over her palm. “Neither would I.”

Tony Vacillates March 30 2001

June 24, 2014

Fri., March 30, 2001 – At the Church: Ray is praying for Danny’s safety and guidance for Tony. Danny walks in and asks him where Tony is. He tells Ray that the hit is real and Tony may be caught in the middle of it. Danny tells Ray that the feds cornered him and told them about the hit as well as Maria’s and Tony’s involvement. Ray asks him if he talked to Abuela. Danny said she denied it but he is ready to believe she is lying. That is why he has to find Tony. He doesn’t think Tony would hurt him but he was hard on him when he first came to town. Danny has tears in his eyes and Ray starts holding his own back. Danny realizes it is the truth and is stunned. Ray tells him he wished he could help him but he can’t. Danny figures he tells him he learned it all in confession. Danny is very angry. He is so upset that Tony told Ray without regard to what it would do to Ray not to tell Danny. He leaves. Ray goes back to his praying and asks God to let Danny have a fighting chance now that he knows. Michelle comes in and asks Catalina if Tony is there. She goes into the office and wakes him up and tells him that he looks like hell. He asks what she wants and she tells him that they need him. She tells him that Danny has always said Tony would have his back and she needs to know that he will help them because she thinks that Danny is going to need him now more than ever. Michelle tells him that the news about the hit may be real. She tells him that Danny needs him. He tells her that he is there. He asks her if she thinks he wants something to happen to Danny. She tells him that she loves Danny and she is very scared. She begs him to please help them. She tells him that Danny loves him a lot and cares so much for him. She tells him that they both need him, he is like the little brother they never had. Tony has a look of clarity come over his face. He tries to push it away while Michelle asks how he is. She wants to help him and asks him if he needs someone to listen. He thanks her and tells her he will be fine. Michelle leaves. Tony gets a call from Carlos. He tells him that he has news about the hit and needs to talk to him.

My Comments: I think that when Danny comes in he’s as genuinely worried about Tony as he is with the threat. This opening scene is very important to show the way Ray is torn. It’s really hard for him because he truly believes in the doctrines of his faith and the importance of absolute confidentiality of the confessional even though his every other instinct is to tell Ray everything. Danny, while a true believing Catholic and a rule follower, isn’t as sanguine and would have broken his word to give Ray warning, but he doesn’t blame Ray for feeling differently and honestly understands why he felt that way and feels bad for him. Paul Anthony Stewart does a strong man breaking down better than anyone. He’s great in this scene with Ray.

This Michelle and Tony scene is very important and shows what their relationship was really like before Tattoo Tony. Michelle and Danny did both come to see Tony as a little brother. Michelle’s hair looks great in this and the next few days it’s her best hairdo with Nancy in the role.

Robansuefarm is the handle of one of Manny and Guiding Light‘s biggest fans following in her family’s footsteps of Guiding Light fandom since 1939. This blog is an effort to make it easy to find Guiding Light and especially Manny online. Check back here for her blog, find fanfic previews and fake WSPR newscasts on her YouTube, find podcasts that look back to old shows and audios of her fanfics on Blog Talk Radio, and finally follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

Counting the Weddings With Dates

June 23, 2014

Wedding 8fIt’s easy to get confused about the numerous Manny weddings and I see people misnumber the Manny weddings all the time, especially on YouTube. So let’s do a quick review. Manny never stayed apart for long, basically they usually remarried before the ink was dry on the divorce certificate. Honestly I’d have thought the clerk would just say let’s just hold on to these for month and save everybody some paperwork when they come in for a marriage license again.

I previously did a post on this, but when I was sending someone the link I realized I hadn’t included dates and that might be useful so here it is again with the dates. Note that the wedding “days” in reel life sometimes crossed days in real life. I have decided to use the dates of the actual vows except in cases where they specifically said a date for example some places and sometimes even I in earlier posts will list the church wedding as occurring on February 17th because that was when they exchanged vows, but that was the second episode of a “soap opera day” that had started on Friday and the wedding was specifically said to be on Valentine’s Day, later weddings were specifically said to be on the Fourth of July, etc. and it those cases I’ve decided to let the stated dates supersede the air dates of episodes.

1. Justice of the Peace ceremony, off camera for shock value (Legal Ceremony) – Jan. 8, 1999

2. The Church service in Casa Santos  (Church Ceremony – Vow Renewal) – Feb. 14, 1999

In between 2 and 3 is the annulment separation where they actually start annulment proceedings, but never file the final papers, so the marriage stands as binding to both the law and to the church.

3. The Laurel Falls Wedding where Ray renews their vows now their commitment is real and complete (Vow Renewal). – July 4, 1999

At this point, in order to switch Michelles and deal with the continued violence in Danny’s life, plus introduce a so far unreformed bad boy in Tony, Manny’s marriage is pushed into a crisis and they divorce in October 4, 2000.

4. Night Wedding at Laurel Falls during the perfect storm of dangers that surround Robbie’s birth. (Legal Ceremony) – March 26, 2001

Divorce when Danny is being pulled back into the family business and Michelle asks Danny to leave. (Personally I think it was to shock him into giving up the clubs and returning to a more normal life and she never really expected him to go or what was that whole business with the porch light when she’d told him to stay away?) Danny decides he has to give up both Michelle and Robbie until he can permanently remove Carmen from the equation.-  Feb. 17, 2003 (Ironic date no? Since the 17th was the actual vow air day for the Church wedding it was pouring salt into the wound for fans.)

5. Surprise Wedding at Bauer BBQ – Mostly an attempt to do something different with their wedding, I think, this stupid storyline had Michelle with Danny, but not wanting to get legally re-married until Marah and Tony surprise them at the BBQ (I mean them not wanting to get married was stupid, not Marony of course). (Legal Ceremony) – July 4, 2003

Quickie divorce in Las Vegas while Michelle is still suffering from the after affects of amnesia and major brain trauma, pushed through by Tony. - April 21, 2005

6. Wedding in Bauer Kitchen right before they exit the show. (Legal Ceremony) - November 21, 2005

However, in the tradition of the Catholic Church, only the wedding on Feb. 14, 1999, the church service counted and none of the divorces did. In this instance I believe in following the teachings of the church that both Danny and Michelle’s mother Maureen followed. They were married on Feb. 14th 1999 and are married still and forever more.

In the end, Michelle and Danny were married 6 times and only to each other. This made a grand total of 6 weddings with 4 being legal ceremonies and two vow renewals. As no further action was mentioned at the BBQ the time between Nov. 2005 and Sept. 2009 marks the longest time they’ve ever gone without having some kind of wedding. Although there were multiple marriages, they were only ever married to each other which I think is some kind of soap opera record because I can’t think of another leading couple who were front burner on a soap that long that can make a similar claim.

Robansuefarm is the handle of one of Manny and Guiding Light‘s biggest fans following in her family’s footsteps of Guiding Light fandom since 1939. This blog is an effort to make it easy to find Guiding Light and especially Manny online. Check back here for her blog, find fanfic previews and fake WSPR newscasts on her YouTube, find podcasts that look back to old shows and audios of her fanfics on Blog Talk Radio, and finally follow her on Twitter and Facebook.



Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 822 other followers

%d bloggers like this: